[2] And So It Began

04/20/2009

All My Entries Are About Me....None of This is Fake...even though sometimes i wish it weren't

As If It Were Just A Story

Slowly, she drifted into her own personal oblivion...a place where the pain can not reach her, where the darkness is the only thing that comforts her, that hides her tears. Quietly she suffers alone, scared to even trust herself, scared of more pain. That's all her life really is full of...pain. It's who she is. It's who she was. It's who she will always be. Here in the darkest areas of her soul are the words she has longed to hear and the secrets that she most desperately wants shared. Tears of pain could be seen deep in her eyes, her spirit broken, the light gone. She needed him. Plain and simple. She was in love. She wanted his perfect body and his sweet lips. She wanted to feel his arms around her waist, holding her tight. During her sleep, she dreams of him, his perfect smile. She craves his attention and his passion. Deep in her mind, in her most darkest area, is the one weakness that life created for her...her one vunerability. It was through this weakness that they chose to hurt her in one of the most painful was possible, leaving scars that would never disappear. Her life being alomst more than she could handle, yet for some reason there was always one speck of light, in her darkness, that keeps her reality and her fantasies in check. He was never what she had expected but so much more than she had anticipated. He was dreamy and sensitive, strong but gentle. He was the light that guided her out of her personal darkness...away from the constant pain and the crying. No one would have guessed how bad she was suffering, let alone the reasons why. She learned to put on a show, a mask, to keep out the unwanted, from penetrating her fascade. She pretends she's not in pain. But as much as she tries, she can not hide it. Day by day, they watch her die, all the while still wondering where her light went to. Her smile begins to fade as her eyes fill with its usual tears. She had been broke and been broke bad. She was forced to withstand the stares and the ridiculing. She was unable to run from what was hurting her. It was his arrival that had her pinned. He held her hands when she felt lonely. It was him who was there to wipe away the tears that escaped successfully. When she needed someone to talk to, it was him who offered to be her confidante. He was her one and only way out, out of reality. Every thing she wasnted in a friend, she found in him. Every thing she wanted in a lovr, he put there. He completed her so much. His compassion, washing away her imperfections. He made her whole. She was in love and for the first time, her darkness has begun to fade as her light began to shine within once more. It was his love for her that ultimately saved her...