If I could interview #$%^$^ this is what’d I’d ask. it’s also what i’d imagine he’d say:

me: can you give me any good reason why you didn’t explore Africa? like maybe for its history?

dt jr: i wanted to go to a country where i couldn’t translate in english what people were cursing at me.

me: it’s enough that you’ll never have to want for anything. why can’t you give back? like for AIDS in africa?

dt jr: i don’t think im allowed to work with needles. i could have a disease myself. women love me. im gorgeous

me: you know you harmed/killed a lot of innocent animals . what did they ever do to you?

dt jr: i watched “water for elephants” and was jealous of how “rosie” the elephant understood russian. im jealous that i cant learn it too, no matter how hard i try.

me:your father seems to think its fine what you did. like you can to whatever you want. don’t you wanna change?

dt jr: my father’s delirious. what can i say? i mean he tried to run for president.