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Hi, and welcome to Bloop.
I've had several LDRs, usually unintentionally, and the first time i actually didnt realise that was what it was- i just met a guy that didnt live locally, on a day out.
The longest was also the last- I met an army guy, got serious with him, then couldn't move with him as my son was in high school.
We did it for 5.5 years- longer than we expected-he was interstate and a three hour plane ride away most of the time, then deployed the last 6 months.
We got married during that time, before he deployed. We are still happily married now, and have lived together again for the last 3 years.
Long distance can be special. You have to learn trust and communication. The reunion sex is fabulous. You know they love you- why else would someone put up with such a thing?
How did we make it work? We talked, as much as we could manage. About our days, about our fears. We made plans for when we could be together. We dreamt together.
We had to communicate.
I longed for him at times, but I always knew we would be together in the long run, and it made it worth it.
We have a far better relationship now than many people I know who have always been able to be together.
We trust each other, we are self sufficient. We know the other person is there because they want to be- we can both easily make it on our own. We like being around each other, and don't take it for granted.
We still consider the other, and do nice things for each other because we want to.
There's very little conflict between us- we hashed all that out years ago. We accept each others differences and funny little ways.
We love to hang out together. We are best of friends as well as lovers and life partners.
Long distance can make the relationship or break it. Try to see it for what it is- a great love affair that can't be dampened by distance.
Knowing that if you get through this, you will have the best relationship ever, once you are together again, is a great motivator.
Oh, and there's a lot of online support. Lots of others that have done this also. Try to join a group that knows what you are going through.
It really helps!
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