mind thinking

I been not myself ever since i lost my mother.Its been hard on me because i would not eat and drink as much as i use to.I been acton different to alot people.I want to go back to the way i was but it so hard for me to do it.All i can think about is being with my mother in heaven.But alot people tell me not to do it because she already with me in my heart and is watch over me.But that just make it alot woster on me.i been getting ask if i got lil better when i didnt got better at all.I hold it all in side of me.I just wish i could go back to the way i was and open up to people that i trust