im crying. im over it. i cant take on much more. im a mom of 3. i work part time as a school van driver. i am a full time student. i am married. there are 5 people in my home. me, husband, 3 kids (2,4,12). just got off the phone with unemployment for an appeal i filed for being denied on some bullshit technicalities with my claim. i filed my claim incorrectly, but i didnt even know i filed incorrectly until i got denied and then i spoke to a rep who helped me file the backdate claims. still denied. no compassion at all. this is TWICE now that unemployment has denied me. (first time was bc I was a few hundred short of the monetary threshold to qualify so i had to go all last summer without an income.I am so sick of getting shafted by them. i have schoolwork to do, just now am getting a moment to do it but now i am so fucking defeated and angry that i dont even want to do it now. i dont want to do anything anymore. I tried to keep my bloodpressure down by doing some laundry but even that pisses me off. I an ONE person. who does laundry for FIVE people. for every basket I get washed and folded when I can, 5 more pop up. i ask for help. i have to wait weeks or months for it. no one in my house knows how to take initiative to do a goddamn thing without being asked to do it. Iask them to make sure their laundry atleast gets into one of the MILLION FUCKING BASKETS i bought. they dont do it. i ask them to put away their own fucking clothes after I wash and fold them. they dont. i got pissed one ay and told them that i wasnt doing any more laundry if its not in a fucking basket. they dont care. i ask for SIMPLE THINGS to be done to make my tasks easier and THEY JUST DONT FUCKING DO IT.
I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ASK. I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ASK. THEY LIVE HERE TOO.
same thing with the fucking dishes. I ask them not to take dishes upstairs. they do it anyway. i ask them to rinse the dishes after using them. they dont. I ask for help with dishes maybe once a fucking week. nope. im sick of it. i cant keep going like this. I am one person trying to clean up after 4 other people, while doing all of my own shit and I. JUST. CANT.
I havent had a fucking car in 5 months since my jeep died. plan was to get a new car with our refund. then we get told the landlord is selling the house in march and we have to move. AGAIN. same thing happened to us last fucking year. so now the refund needs to be used to move. goodbye getting a fucking car i guess. im going crazy. my depression is coming back. i cry alot again. i want to disappear alot again. i dont like my family right now. i dont like my life right now. i dont like me right now. something needs to change.
i figured i would go back to school to try and make my, our, futures brighter by getting a better job with my degree when i return back to work full time. but im only half way through my FIRST semester out of 4 to get that degree and everything is just so fucking hard to manage and i get no support from anyone.i get no me time. no peace.
i need a break. i need a vacation. but we cant afford it. and even if we could, HE wont save his paid time for us to be able to take a vacation. i ask him not to use it all. its only february and he has already blown through over half of his paid time. theres no way in hell hes giong to have any left for us to attempt a vacation in the summer.
is this really just how life is for a mom and a wife? really...? constantly shit on. constantly expected to take care of everything. to make it all work. no help. have to ask for it if i want it. dont get it anyway most times unless i end up having to yell. them im the asshole for yelling.
this is stupid. i dont want to do this anymore. i know this is temporary, but goddamn, why does it have to be so fucking hard?!?!?!
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