Sometimes I stare at tall buildings
smelling somewhere near a space needles and or a seaport bringing in
fresh fish and then I think about the wooden houses on the Pacific and
how close Japan is. To keep myself occupied here, I pretend that the
west isn't really that far away and that the harbor is really Puget
Sound.
There's other times when I wish it would rain for a week
just so I could see for how long I could take it and for what my
reaction would be. When I first moved here in the winter months I got
along fine without the sun, and just the grey skies. And I was actually
glad when my parents invited me down to their beach place in Florida
because I was ready to feel warm again.
Sometimes I watch White
Fang or read "To Build a Fire" or watch Alaska documentaries about how
to get through 45 days of night-time and without seeing the sun. Other
times I'm just glad that I live in a basement apartment because here,
like Seattle, my plants do not get any sun so I just have to get fake
ones. Plus I don't get that much light anyway and at night I just light
candles, but during the day I have to turn on everything stuff its
brighter.
I thought about getting a Seattle pen-pal too and asking
him questions or making him or her keep a daily log for me. Like,
what's your mornings like? When you open up the fridge and look out the
window at a grey day, how do you jump-start yourself to get moving?
Or, is it true that the subway system is always crowded with really
literate readers who subscribe to different music zines? Or how many
independent movie theaters are there, and, is it okay to wear vibrant
sneakers into a fancy restaurant?
Sometimes I have dreams about
Seattle and then I wake up at 11 and I don't feel guilty because I felt
like I got a free trip without having to pay for a plane ticket. I
tried to call up my ex-boyfriend once to see if I could stay with him,
but then I found out that he's living with his mom three streets down
from me. So I tried calling up my mom and asking if I should use my
savings to fly up to Seattle for a trip. But then she just said, "Why
would you want to go to Seattle when you could come down here to sunny
Florida?"
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