I went to the USAwith my Kyle to work there for six months. We worked at a country club in Florida, and it was HELL to say the least.
First of all, the members were absolute pigs... demanding food and drinks left, right and centre. They had no care in the world except for money and materialism.
Second of all, my co-workers were an interesting breed of human, I have never seen anything like them in my life. They go there so that they can gain experience to move on with their lives; the only problem is that nobody really moves on. The majority are just young adults that don't like to talk about their life back home, they party all night and work all day, and whatever they get on their paycheck is what they will spend on booze the next day. I didnt quite understand what their ambition was, I was not quite sure any of them were really going anywhere in life; then again, I don't think they were sure either.
While I was in America, I ended up cheating on Kyle, and he found out about it. It almost ended our relationship right there on the spot.
But that experience made me question many things to myself...
Why did I cheat?
What did I get out of it?
Was it worth it?
Can you live without Kyle?
I'll tell you why I cheated, (and some may call this a lame excuse), I was not myself... being in a whole new world, with all these new people.. It confused me. I felt like I was not supposed to be there half of the time and I think I grew a liking to the attention I was getting from my male co-workers.
I got nothing out of it... actually all I got out of it was a bit of heart break, a wake up call, and a lesson learned.
It was NOT worth it... I have never seen Kyle so hurt in my life.
Almost losing Kyle made me realise what a significant difference he makes in my life, Kyle has been there for me through thick and thin, he has seen me cry and seen me fuming. He has seen me at my best and seen me at my worst. Kyle is the one. And I can't live without him. Almost losing the love of my life woke me up to see that I may need to change my mindset. Yeah, so Kyle wasnt giving me the attention I needed in America and that I why I went looking for it somewhere else... But I lacked communication, I should have told him, we could have prevented it. But I didnt, and that's okay. Because now I have been hit by a wake up call that nobody is perfect and all it takes is to communicate properly with the one you love for it to be a successful relationship.
That was not the only mistake I made.
While in the USA, I pointed out a personality that comes out when I am making new friends.
I will seem open and honest, probably too honest...
I will seem loud and attention seeking,
maybe even easy...
I tried to hard to make friends, and ignored the fact that a lot of the guys I was trying to be friends with were not looking for a friendship at all..
I had to learn this the hard way.
I made a friend with an Irish guy that I worked with at the bar, he seemed very funny, very friendly, very trustworthy.
He started flirting with me, and I enjoyed the attention as I would when I am trying to impress others; I accepted compliments like "sexy" and "hot" and comments about my ass were flattering.
This one night before he left to fly back home, he had a farewell party, and I went to wish him good travels back home. he fed me and his other guests beer and shots, and he got heavily intoxitated himself too.
His best friend was a dodgy fella, always tried to get into my pants.
I went to the bathroom upstairs during the evening, and when I came out, Mr Best Friend cornered me in the bedroom. He tried to kiss me and as he got ontop of me, the Irish walks in...
Trying to explain that it's not what it looks like while also trying not to look like an abslolute slut, I ran after him and he agreed to speak about it in private.
We went to the other room, and we spoke for quite a while about the situation. I explained to him what happened and he agreed that he would not say a word to anybody.
He then tried to kiss me.
At this time already pushing one guy off of me was insanely ridiculous for one evening so I got pretty pissed off when he tried his luck too.
He pushed me down onto the bed and held his full weight on me.
I told him no and tried to push him off repeatedly while he continued to stick his tongue down my throat.
He held me down by my hands, and he sat on my legs and the rest I am sure you can figure out for yourself.
Needless to say, I blame myself.
So there you have it.... thats all I seem to remember of all six months of living and working in Florida.
It was HELL.
And I am pretty sure that is just putting it lightly.
Kyle was there for me all the way when he found out, he stuck by me, he supported me and he helped me.
He is my pillar of strength and I would not be alive if he did not support me the way he does.
I wouldn't call myself lucky under circumstances, But I know I am damn lucky to have him.
<3
xx
Tigerheart |
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