i'm going to lay here and cry, and wonder what is wrong with you, me, us, wonder why its so easy for you to leave, wonder why its so easy for you to read all those things about me, think to myself i wonder if you'll ever even read this, wonder if it means a damn thing to you, i poured my heart out to you in that last thing i said to you, and your only concern was that i was the one who had said goodbye.. and to me, there's something seriously wrong with that, of everything i said, every bit of emotion, you read the first word in that message, and ignored the rest.. how could you? and that goodbye, was not a permanent thing, had you read anything beyond that, youd know damn well, i cant handle hearing how many things you hate about me, not you, the one person who gave me self worth, confidence, "swagger", to tear bit by bit, go bit by bit, through all the terrible things you think of me, no of course i left, i had to. but if any of the things you've ever said about your feelings about me are true, you'll read that message again, you won't do anything stupid, and you'll think, and you'll answer me, whenevr, like i said, i'll be waiting... you can doubt anything you like about me, but if you doubt my love for you, you're taking away the biggest part of me, the strongest thing in me, if ever you actually believed in your heart i didnt love you, well, thats a world i would not want to live in, because it would be such a scary place, because its so fucking obvious im crazy about you.. it just hurts so much, and i dont always have the answers, but i need you, and i dont care what you think of that word, or what it means to independance, but yes, you change my life for the worst when you're not around, not in my life, so yes i need you, because lifes worth living when you're a part of it. anyways, my keyboard is soaked, every inch of me is in pain, and i cant do this anymore tonight, i'm going to hope i exhausted myself enough to fall asleep, i love you more than life. i hope, hope so bad, you say something, but what can i do.. i guess ball is in your court. fuck i gotta stop, goodnihght.. |
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