So, I've spoken to both my mother and my brother on the topic of what to do, should I let it go or go for it more, and it's like Angels on shoulders. Mother says go for it, brother says give her the space she said she needs, and do like she says and move on. Upon reflection--no, that's not quite true, literally during the talk with my brother I realized that I need to err on the side of logic. If I send the message I had planned to, I will be smothering her, stealing her agency from her, reneging on my own promises of no pressure or forcing, etc etc etc. I told my brother that she checked all the boxes, but the guy came back and said "no, there wasn't enough time for that. She might have checked them early on, but you don't know what else there is, and there's definitely something in her history that makes her not ready." I'm doing a bad job of relaying this, but yeah. I'm thankful for my mother's encouragement toward my romantic side, and my brother for what really is the right path. For the first time in two days I feel like I can do this.
And from the comments on my last post, which gave me a nice middle ground, I think that's a good option. I need to follow my brother's advice and fucking heal, but it wouldn't hurt to test the waters, as you said, in a few weeks and see where she's at or if she's even interested at all. Until then, it's back up the hill we go..