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i don't need the answers
by spinnerette

previous entry: living so free it's a tragedy

next entry: you killed it with "i love you".

alcohol is gonna mother the pain.

01/22/2009

crayon box

it's obvious he's lost in his regret,
you can smell it on his breath.


ok. so things have been good but i'm (slowly but surely) planning my escape. looking into new jobs (where i don't get screwed over), new universities.. still in the midwest, but further from where i am right now. it's all about moving on and out.

i see my dad for about 45 minutes per day (my school/work schedule and his work schedule obviously overlap) and that's more than enough time, apparently, to have him start fights with me. and the problem is that he's not serious, but he is. it's kind of confusing. you see, i do pay for my own car insurance, most of my own groceries, electricity, and heat on a monthly basis. oh and textbooks (thankfully i'm tuition-free, thanks to my low income fam.) that leaves him with the mortgage payment, the water bill, and whatever else. so every time he complains to me i want to deck him up side the head. and show him the sad state of my checking account. waa.

independence is something i've been itching for..

i feel like one of the reasons i'm pressuring myself to move out is because everyone else is (mainly just L). now, i don't submit to peer pressure (and i only have a couple times.. haha), but i can't TAKE it that everyone else is having a grand ole' time in their dorms, meeting new friends, being away from their families, and getting to experience life in new places, and i'm not. and i found out that my afore-mentioned friend, L is deciding that he's going to spend his sophmore and junior year going to school in chicago, IL and probably somewhere else after that point. while i'm still super upset with him over everything, i feel like i'm getting to that point where i just don't fucking care. i just need to change my number, so when his conscious finally decides to catch up with him (that and whatever he's drinking), he can't cry to me about how much he misses me and shit. that's annoying.

good news on my resolutions:
+ with the loss of one friend, i think i've gained (or re-gained, as i hadn't been talking to her) another.
- probably not transferring to mankato state. instead, perhaps an out of state school? (still figuring out the details)
+ saving up for my vaca!
- probably never going to stop wearing makeup. you should see what i look like when i wake up. yikes.
+ i started thrift-shopping again. and have not spent ANY money on new clothes so far this year.
- no job, and a bunch of debt ($1300) still. working on that.
- had starbucks once so far this year (although this is a VAST improvement from before!)

AND i have some lame picas from a few days ago.

there's something totally majestic about a frozen waterfall!











oh, minnesota winters. how dearly i'll miss you.

previous entry: living so free it's a tragedy

next entry: you killed it with "i love you".

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ew starbucks!

[jodiStar|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc: i'm not actually going anywhere, i want to go home but i can't im not driving don't worry.

[photobooth.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc; lol good point but it definitely is a step in the right direction.

[raindrops;Star|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc: yeah, I loved it! I dont forward/post jokes often, but I thought it was too good to not pass on!! haha.

Love the pics, we have tons of snow here as well, we've been getting a foot or two at a time, ugh.
Good luck with your plan for moving/escaping. It does feel good, and since you're already paying your own bills (mostly) then it wont be such a shocker to you when you do move! and yeah, the first year living on your own is amazing, and then it just gets boring again, but after living on my own for almost 4 years, I could never move back home! I like the freedom far too much, lol.

[fears.on.fire|0 likes] [|reply]

wow, those pics are amazing!! i can't wait to move out and be independent. i'm so sick of living with parents and having to hide parts of your life and not having your own real space. i want to call the shots for once! lol. looks like you're doing pretty good on your resolutions! congrats!! ♥

[i`m his lil bearrr.|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc: No walgreens where I live, but I am familiar with melatonin. I'm thinking I'll just resort to exercise and once out of my nana's house, healthy eating again. It seemed to work the last time I did that. Thanks, though!
-brent

[Brent Alejandro|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

Lots of water and coffee...
&I'm back to feeling good! Take Care

[Harley QuinnStar|0 likes] [|reply]

whoooooooosh

[Sypha Belnades|0 likes] [|reply]

pretty pictures

your dad sounds a lot like my dad as well. sometimes i just want to deck him up side the head too D:

[ღ.kawaii|0 likes] [|reply]

1. Awesome pics!!

2. RYC: I do have a DVR and I watch a lot of my shows that way... or I'll watch it live and then pause and go do something and I'll fast foward, lmao


[Suzy|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc:actaully the one in the middle is one of my older sisters,im the weird tall blonde girl on the end lol.

[we.all.fall.down|0 likes] [|reply]

i LOVE the second photo. the colouring is fantastic.

[girlsetsfire|0 likes] [|reply]

Those pictures are gorgeous! Oh Minnesota winters, how I've never seen you aside from these pictures. xD

Sounds like you've got the whole money thing going well... funny how you do all these things to ensure you spend as little as possible but what's left over is *still* not enough. Good luck making your escape. =)

[rubusStar|0 likes] [|reply]

The pictures are definitely not lame.

[A.Classic.Disaster|0 likes] [|reply]

Man. That sucks that your dad is picking arguments with you.
I mean, you pay for a lot more things than most people that live with their parents do. He should just be happy with that. Plus you're trying to save money to move out, so yeah.

Mmm. Starbucks.
Sounds like you are doing pretty good with your resolutions! Go you!

I love the frozen waterfall pics! They are beautiful!

[earth ♥ angelStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Frozen waterfalls are the ONLY good thing to come out of winter! Hahahaha.

[gravity girlStar|0 likes] [|reply]

your pictures are gorgeous.

You should add up how much you would normally spend at starbucks per week on average so you can marvel in your success.

[Emma|0 likes] [|reply]

Those pictures are beautiful!
It makes me miss the snow!

[Mrs. Ullman|0 likes] [|reply]

thats a really pretty frozen waterfall picture

[*Plastic Brain Scar*|0 likes] [|reply]

how can you call those pictures lame? they're quite lovely if you ask me. don't be rushed to move out... even if your dad is lame. do it when you find the perfect place at the perfect time. or close enough to perfect.

[junkie|0 likes] [|reply]

yeah it is. i'm up to 14 dollars though.

[jodiStar|0 likes] [|reply]

haha shit. i just started last night. it's a pain in the ass. some of those surveys take forever.

[jodiStar|0 likes] [|reply]

those pictures are amazing even though i hate winter!

[burt|0 likes] [|reply]

yeah. go for something easy.
jobs suck haha.
ill have 2 when i score the summer one

[- misseriin*|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: I know it's crazy, i didn't even think that anyone else in Tasmania had a bloop! I haven't found anyone with one anyway. Thanks I like your pics too

moving out would be good, it looks like you're already pretty independant as it is though!

[simply.love|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

Coffeeee all the way! XD.

&thank you ^_^ Take Care

[Harley QuinnStar|0 likes] [|reply]

This is incredibly beautiful.
I wish I was there.
I've never seen anything like this in my life.

[Sesquipedalian|0 likes] [|reply]

Thanks for the comment. Atmosphere is most definitely amazing! Love those pictures, btw.

[God Loves Ugly|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: I hate not being able to sleep.
It's so stressful!

[earth ♥ angelStar|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

Thanks for your comment, =]! Take Care

[Harley QuinnStar|0 likes] [|reply]

did you take these?

either way, they are marvelous.

[CtotheGeewood|0 likes] [|reply]

that first picture is amazing

[i ask & you smile.|0 likes] [|reply]

Thanks for the prom dress comment :], I meant to thank yo ua while ago but I guess I must have forgotten
AND, I wish my town was like San Fransisco, it's far from it. hahaha, We've got a population of about 20,000 lol.

[- mc|0 likes] [|reply]

yeah, whatever. wanted to let people know im leaving! there u go. thanks btw.

[made in norway|0 likes] [|reply]

I love the pictures of the snow. Makes me really miss it.

And on the subject of nasty customers :Evil laugh: I'm saving all of those comments that I've wanted to give over the years for the day I quit because I managed to get a better job.

There will be one pissed off bookseller that day.

Kya

-No Day But Today- Rent

[Kyabett|0 likes] [|reply]

Hells Yes. they both ROCK

[His Private Demon|0 likes] [|reply]

thannkss!!

[♥ baybee|0 likes] [|reply]

ive made approx £4000 since 2007 using Yuwie, at the start i didnt think it was possible but the more i used it the more i learned & the free web trafficing sites help a lot - they increase Yuwie traffic which means increases money! x

[GoOd GiRL..GoNe BaD|0 likes] [|reply]

that is a such a realistic solution considering we haven't had sex....

[Critics of bloop|0 likes] [|reply]

Omg they're amazing photo's!

[Caitiijay..xx..Star|0 likes] [|reply]

thanks =), my mom really wanted me to have at least three FOR SURE programs I would like before I even though of paying the application fee.
well, mainly because I needed another choice, lol. but also because I've seen so many people become dependent on drugs around here that I used to be really good friends with. Needless to say, those friendships have ended, it's quite ridiculous actually.

[- mc|0 likes] [|reply]

Wow, those are awesome photos, and I'm totally not just saying that. What kind of camera do you have?

RYC: Thanks for the advice. I actually have NO idea who took the pan. You're right, $20 is $20 (especially for us students, haha) so I think I will mention it to the dorm manager.

[Stefanie|0 likes] [|reply]

thank you i aim to give everyone a headache. it's my master plan . i did hear that minnesota winters are really bad

[Kornati KidStar|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

Aww - how is FF annoying?Take Care

[Harley QuinnStar|0 likes] [|reply]

its by faithless and called insomnia. lol i thought it was fitting since i couldn't sleep.

[Kornati KidStar|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: It is all right. I have had longer ones. Thank you, really, thank you. I try to have higher self-esteem but... it is just so hard. I just see all of my friends talking about their weekends and think, why wasn't I there? Why no invite? And then I wonder if they really care.. and then it all goes down from there.

Oh and I LOVE the black and white photo with the snow road. It is gorgeous. The one above that with like the wall/barricade thingie is awesome too. I love how the curve just draws you further into the picture. It is awesome.

[Utter Silence|0 likes] [|reply]

it all depends where you live.

[xsweetkisezxx|0 likes] [|reply]

girl your pictures are amazing

[yawn of birds|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: living so free it's a tragedy

next entry: you killed it with "i love you".

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