!been a couple of days ...

this isn't a good entry.
seriously, it's just one thought right after the other ...
crap. sry. thxbai.

classic layouts

i haven't been motivated for much lately. sry.
Today is mine and patrick's 8 month 'anniversary', if you will ...
it's so strange.
8 months.
i'm so used to being like, "3 years, 2 months" ...
ya know.
with my ex fiance.
that means ...
8 months i've been with patrick
8 months i've been not with anthony
8 MONTHS?
thats almost a year.
Holy shit where did the time go???
LMAO.
i remember a time where i thought i couldn't breathe without Anthony.
and i was going to be Mrs. Anthony Mueckl ... actually in about 3 months.
ya we had set a date.
that sucked that it didn't work out.
i tried calling him.
LAST WEEK.
he's ignoring me now.
i guess it's for the best ...
but still. it sucks.
he knows me better than anybody,
and now i have made him mad.
I SUCK.
in general.
i'm just a sucky suck.
yes.
oh yes,
patrick's date to see the suboxone doctore got moved up.
so it's jan 29th instead of feb 2
thats good.
it means i get to stop spending 50-60 dollars on suboxone for him.
i never get to spend my check on myself.
'cept for the other day.
i dyed my hair. it's 1 color.
'brown-black'
i'm cold.
i think im gonna go make some eggs and toast.
patrick is still 'asleep' ... or laying there
lazy bum.
BORING.