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Sing To Me A Lullaby
by SingToMeALullaby

previous entry: Just what the doc ordered

next entry: Im Alive & Well ;; Breathing In & Out Is A Blessing Can't You See :)

My sister having a baby !

08/15/2009



I have one sister. She's the younger one, she just turned 19. The baby girl of the family. Shes always been the one to test the waters. Try to push the enevelope. As much as it drove my parents crazy. Thats one of the many things i ♥ about her. How she wasn't scared to step outside of the boundaries. How she wasn't scared to take the leap. On the other hand, at 19 i felt she needed to grow up a little more. Don't get me wrong, i hope forever she stays a kid at heart. I think that's the only way we survive this crazy journey. On the other hand, i guess when i was her age my parents expected more & being the first born didn't help. With that said, i can't hold that against her.In the end, shes my sister. I can't imagine life without her. I can't remember life before her. Through thick & thin she held my hand. ♥



Last week she told us she was pregnant. The father is her first love . After their relationship ended it was a compelete rollercoaster. I don't want to go into details. To sum it up myself & others feel that he has abused her emotionally & fincially. He needs to grow up & realize that he needs to stop accepting hand outs. For example he dropped out of school, was unemployed for numerous years & his parents still supplied a roof over his head, clothes on his body & food.



I can't remember the last time i felt so many emotions.



♥ I just wish it didnt happen now, this moment. Shes just starting to find her way. To disover her dreams. To notice her flaws & embrace her strengths. She just became a dedicated student. Once, her ♥ is in it & shes determined its amazing to see what she accomplish. For example, she has gotten high 80s and 90s in school so far.



♥ I just wish it wasn't with him, of all people him. I believe people can change,
& i know my sister feels the same. Specially with him. But, at the same time i lost count of how many times i had to hold my tongue when it came to him. I lost count of how many nights she spent crying over him. I lost count of how many chances she gave him. I lost count of not only how many chances she gave him but how many chances my parents gave him. What makes it even harder is that my sister is aware of all this which just adds more weight on her shoulder. But hopefully this baby will help him turn around. If not, hopefully my sister realizes that maybe me & her were just wishfull thinking. Some people just dont change, that's just part of life .



♥ I don't know if its an actual saying or if its just my mom saying - juggle peter to pay paul. My family has always struggled with money. Don't get me wrong we have never gone without food, shelter or clothes. We have gone on vacations, decorated our own rooms, had pets with silly names etc. I know money dosen't buy happiness. My parents have proven that. But, in the same time we can't ignore reality that raising a kid is expensive. I know, my sister realizes that.



♥ Am scared that my sister being pregnant might put a strain on her & my parents relationship. Mostly, because of the baby father. However, i think that just may be a silly thought. Sure, my mom can hold a grudge but i believe, honestly believe my parents will always be by our side no matter what situations we may get our selves into. My mom always wanted grandchildren, she just got them sooner then she thought



♥ I am certain that my sister will be the best mom she can be. Am certain that my sister will work two jobs, if money gets tight. Am certain that my sister will love her kid & never stop with gentle hands and a heart of a fighter.



♥ I think i have realized that as much as i want to fight her battle, i cant. More then ever, she needs me by her side. I won't let her down. I will never walk away.



♥ She's not to far along though. I hope & pray that she wont have to expirence the heartache of a miscarriage. I can't imagine & will never know the pain untill i walk in someone shoes that have.



To who ever has read this, please don't get the impression that i want her to have an abortion. Please dont think that i think since shes 19 she cant raise a child. I know young moms out their that do a HELL OF A BETTER job then moms who are in their 30s & 40s. Please dont get the impression that i think this baby is nothing but a burden. That is not the case AT ALL





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previous entry: Just what the doc ordered

next entry: Im Alive & Well ;; Breathing In & Out Is A Blessing Can't You See :)

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I had a baby at 19 and we are, well not poor but not rich as I had to leave my job but we're managing. Your parents wont care about all that once they see their gorgeous grandchild. I know that people say your life ends when you have a baby but it doesnt have to, mine hasnt. She will be fine and forget about her ex, if he is like that then he doesnt deserve the gift of a child

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