I haven't written in her for a long time. Since then my relationships are still not perfect, it has its up & downs. My body isn't perfect, i still got a booty and hips. My job isnt perfect, i somtimes want to cry. My friends aren't perfect, sometimes they need a good smack. But its MY imperfect life and IM living it & i LOVE it!
I have kept my promise to myself of finally breaking the cycle of hiding behind sweatures, dodging pictures & having little to none self confidence. I realized that the main reason why i have been so successfull at this is because I have chosen to do this. I hit rock bottom. Don't get me wrong, i am so grateful & lucky to have the continous support from my family & friends. I chose to do this not only to lower the belt notches & digits on the scale but to live a healthier longer life. My family has a horrible past history when it comes to high blood pressure, heart attacks etc.
This summer will mark the One Year i made this promise to myself. Since then i have gone from 190 to 143 - that equals 47 pounds i have lost baby! I find myself having more energy & also alot happier. After a few days of not exercising, people & myself around me notice my mood change drastically. I find myself not dreading dressing up. Or, when am shopping not hestiating to take it off the shelf & to just try it on. Matter of fact, last week i tried on dresses! However, i am not quite there yet to purchase one but i was stunned by the reflection in the mirror - it was beautiful! Last but not least, i feel myself wanting to try new things. At the end of the month i am in a MS bike marathon that involves me biking 160 km!
This is by far the hardest thing I have accomplished in my life. Everyday I am amazed at how far i've gone. Everyday I am amazed at my strength and determination to carry on!
I currently work as an Educational Assisant, Level 1. Level 1 is classroom support. If you choose to go up a level - you are working one on one with a student. The higher the level the more suffer the child. I have never worked so hard to land a job. I applied for countless postings (over 100), went to numerous interviews to be told kindly if only i had expierence the job would have been mine, volunteered numerous hours & handed out a huge stack of business cards in the pouring rain! Finally, i was able to get my foot in the door & shortly after land myself a permant position. I was so relieved & so grateful! Specially, since it takes numerous years for people to land a permant position in this field!
At the end of this school year i was offered a level 2 position, which would have came with a raise. However, I did deny it. I really enjoy the fact that i work with numerous students & numerous teachers. Also, its less Responsibility. Yes, it is more money but after taxes it's only 150 more. Right now, i don't need the extra stress for the little bit of extra cash. Last but not least, i've just started my career. I still have time to learn & grow more so I can be more prepared for the future.
Throughout my decision making I recieved so many compliments from my co-workers. Basically along the line "if you aren't taking it because your doubting your self.Then, you are making a wrong choice. You are capable of doing this job. Not only doing it, but being amazing at it".
My neice is already 4 months old. It was love at first sight. That baby girl had me wrapped around the finger the day she was born. She has been nothing but a blessing to this family ♥
Ill be moving in a couple of months. Am not exactly sure what it looks like yet. So, stay tuned =).
Thank you for taking the time to read this novel.
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