on the 18th of feb i took the test. all morning i was pooing my self, but then when my mum said "time for the doctors" i broke down, i didnt want to go at all, i was so scared. i didnt want chris coming with me yet, havent told him. when the doctor showed me and my mum the the test was positive, i just cried and cried and cried. it was for sadness or anything, it was for guilt. today i have finally stopped crying because today i am going to tell sean i am pregnant as i now know that it is his baby. the doctor asked me when my last period was my last due date and then i figured out it is seans.
i have know i dea how he'll react, im actually shaking with how scared i am, he always said he'd stick by me with any thing, but he was talking as a friend when he said that, i dont think he meant anything quite as extreme as this. but if worse comes to worse and he doesnt accept it then, i dont know, havent thought that one through yet, but today im going round his house any way as i am helping him with some coursework. but i have no idea what im going to say. sean im pregnant and its yours, thats to up front and in your face, ahh i dont know.
i am realy surprised as to how my mum is taking it, i think more than anything she excited. she told me shes not dissapointed with me at all. she was upset at first probably becasue of my age, but she was my age when she had me so. plus shes always wanted another baby in the house. my dads always away with work so when he is back all he wants to do is sleep. GOD!! i dont know how the hell im going to tell him.
what will sean do, he is such a nice person, wait why am i going on about sean, what will chris do. i need to tell him today aswell. he'll say get an abortion you have to, but i have strick veiws about that and every one know how i feel. i would never ever have an abortion. plus my GCSE's are in may so i wont have a bump by then any way so no one will notice so it's all good, dont have to tell any one. but sean and chris need to know.
wish me luck
x |
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