I'm going to be on here a lot more. I miss the days where I would write an entry a day, and OD was like Facebook; I was constantly checking it.
First off, I'm gonna start by telling anyone who reads this what has been going on in my life.
My boyfriend got offered a job in North Dakota. 10,000 month getting his welding certification. If he buys his own welding truck after receiving his certification after the six month training period, they double the pay and make him a welder. Do the math, that's TWENTY THOUSAND dollars a month. The catch: they don't take taxes out of your check, so you better save 25 grand to pay back at the end of the year, and you work two months straight then get a week off to see your family. He just saw dollar signs.
So, with that being said, I quit my job and became a stay at home mom, and a full time online student. This is where the ranting begins...
First off, I LOVED my job, I worked at a gas station, which is like, "whoop-de-doo" but it was awesome. My boss and I became friends, and I was her confidant when it came to my co-workers. My customers were awesome, and I had a lot of fun. I didn't like the ten hour days, the drama with the bitch manager of the store next to us, and getting up at three o'clock in the morning to go to work. I was burnt out.
And school... I just completed orientation and today is my first day of class. But HOLY FUCK people are idiots! There is nothing worse than a 53 year old woman with the grammar and spelling of a six year old, who also cannot follow simple instructions that the Instructor had given us! And 1/3 of my class had this problem! Ugh, and the schools Facebook page... Holy baby Jesus mother of fucking Christ! The SAME people bitching about the same things. Example: Our schools tuition will go up as of April, 1st. By 3%. That's thirty dollars per class (a class is three credit hours) and a dollar a day. Cheaper than attending on campus, and not even a half a tank of gas for me. Not only did MY school raise tuition, but so did every other online school. Ok, well at least CTU, UoP, Kaplan, etc. And they are at 6%! So PLEASE, STOP bitching over and over and over again about the same shit. Did you NOT see the post below you? Comment on theirs! Please stop bombarding the schools page with useless bullshit that I am forced to read because I am trying to seek some useful information!
The stay at home mom thing... Some people are cut out for it. I am not one of them. I am SO HAPPY to watch my son every day. I love watching him grow and mature. I love cuddle time, bath time, feeding time. But I also like adult face to face interaction. I rally don't have any friends where I live, except my now ex-boss, and no family at all. I'm lonely. I'm bored. It's hard to shake it. I know that I shouldn't complain because so many ladies would KILL to be in my spot, but human contact is a basic need. You can't just shrug it off.
And here comes the biggest RANT of this entry. My motherfucking asshole neighbor! And I so may be over-reacting, but just bare with me. (Or is it 'bear'?) Okay, so when I had my old life (AKA a job) I worked from 4:30 AM to 2:00 PM. My boyfriend worked the graveyard at 7-11, 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. We have one car. So I would have to take my boyfriend to work at night, get a couple of hours of sleep, pack the baby to the babysitters at 4:15 am, Daniel would pick him up at 6. 20 bucks a day and exhausting for everybody. Well, my neighbor, Pappy offered to take on the baby duty for us. Pappy is a 55 year old man who doesn't work. All I had to do was open our front doors which face each other and make sure Tyler was sleeping. Pappy had to do nothing. He may have made him two bottles in a 6 month period of time. And, by the way, for anyone who may be concerned with our front doors being open and a baby sleeping, our front doors were in a house, kind of like bedrooms. There was another door leading outside, which we always lock. Pappy never asked compensation, but we would pay for his cigarettes, Mtn. Dew, I even gave him money to keep his shit from being sold at pawn. So we weren't taking advantage, because as of now I have been supporting his smoking habit for a month.
So, as of now, I have been a stay at home mom since Sunday, and alone. Pappy has been bumming cigarettes from me for a good week now, saying he is quitting and just needs one here and there. Yeah, it's equaling a half a pack a day. I have seven dollars to my name, two packs left of my carton, and I don't get any money until the end of next week. I cannot afford to support your habit right now! Well, I don't smoke in my house. I sit on my front porch and have one. Pappy waits for me to go outside, then sneaks up behind me and waits for me to offer him one. I feel bad NOT offering and I feel bad saying no when he actually asks. And I hate to be stingy, but hey! Gotta take care of me, right? So, today I ran errands for a few hours and didn't make it home till 1:00 pm. Guess who is waiting for me at the front door? Yup. I am trying to carry Tyler in, two gallons of milk, a cube of Pepsi, diapers, my purse, Tyler's bag, and my coffee. Not in one trip of course. He comes and sits on the porch with a plastic bag. I ask, "Whatcha doin', Pappy?" And he says, "Oh, just gonna clean this shit up." Referring to the butts in my ashtray and a can of bug spray. Ohhkaaaay. I felt like it was an excuse to meet me outside so I would offer a smoke. And I didn't bite. I tell him, "Okay, have fun with that, Pappy. I've got a lot to so and I have to call my school." And rushed inside. About an hour and a half later he knocks on my door. He asks me if I know anyone that wants to buy his computer. From 1999. And he knows I don't have friends. And he just kind of stands there for a minute until things get awkward, and I was just like, okay... have to go now, bye... Then another hour later he texts me asking to buy a smoke from me. I give him the smoke and let him keep his two quarters. And, I know this is not good, but I didn't want to feel stalked outside anymore, so I had a smoke in my bathroom and turned on the fart fan, just for some privacy. And I left the fan on for some time to make sure I aired it out. Because yes, I feel guilty. Well, the way the houses are set up is it's three apartments. One big one up top, and Mine is the two bedroom, Pappy's is a one bedroom, and the two apartments mirror each other. Out living rooms are on opposite sides of the house and out bathrooms are right next to each other, separated by a mechanical room with the boiler in it. He had texted me saying, "Not to b a pain, but the fan is getting old." REALLY!? You can NOT hear that fan in your living room. I KNOW you can't. And we have two kids that stomp above our heads for HOURS and you never say anything to her, but my fan is a problem?! He knows I am smoking in the bathroom and is trying to force me back outside again so he can corner me. Thats how I feel. I feel like a prisoner in my own home, I can't even hardly talk on my own phone about anything because my neighbors can hear me, TOLD me than can hear my conversations, and obviously listen in. I can't have a smoke outside in peace. I can'tsmoke in my bathroom in peace. And lock my doors now. I NEVER used to lock my door! Things feel weird and hostile and just not right. And my boyfriend is three states away. FML.
Okay, so that last paragraph was a doozy and I'll be shocked if anyone reads it, but criticism on top of my frustration is not preferred. I am aware of my bad choices and habits and your opinion will not change them. I'm still gonna smoke in my bathroom.
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