i should take a shower and get ready.. go to one of those classes. its cold in here.. im at my place still.. and i started wondering this morning.. DID he go on a road trip? is he gone? is he back? was he lying when he said he was here or was he lying when he said he was leaving? i dont know but Laura said "maybe he'll cool down on his trip" AFTER she talked to her husband and he had talked to the bf. i love him to death but hes soooo immature. and he doesnt recognize anything except things that *I* do wrong. and.. the list never stops but.. what do you do? i dont want to make him look like the bad guy to his friends, but he is a bad guy. and just because i get asked questions and shit and i answer them to the best of my knowledge doesnt mean that. we have mutual friends, they are girls, if something is said to whoever, a guy friend of mine [and i dont even talk to guy friends of mine anymore, just an example. i used to] and tell THEM about what hes done and they run tell X then its like that -=shrug=- and i am being very abused and in his eyes everythings normal i guess. or atleast in a very different light. im tired, i woke up at 8:00. i hate this journal. no-one ever speaks to me. i know he'll do something thats "revenge" if he hasnt already. im pretty sure i heard him say to Roy on the porch "shes cheated on me". probably to cover his ass for screaming "you stupid fucking ho" im thinking that i want this to be over. im thinking that i love him and want to be with him. what the FUCK do i do? =[ |
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