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novaprime's Diary
by novaprime

previous entry: .001. new beginnings

.002. Mental health

12/06/2017

Mental Health
Is it just me or is there this huge stigma around mental health? I use to be one of those people that would look at someone that was struggling with depression or anxiety and tel them to “just think positive” or “why can’t you just be happy?”. I was ignorant when it came to mental health and to be honest I was okay with that. My mother suffered from bi polarism and depression. I remember what it was like for her and how she would be fine one minute and then beating me the next for something I did a month ago. I told myself “I will never be like that. I would rather die then to be like her”. I think now that I am dealing with depression and anxiety first hand, it’s different now. Now I stay in bed or I try to explain to my loved ones what it is like to feel these feelings and to feel lost. My mother never talked to me about it. To be honest, she was kind of a shitty parent even though she had a mental disorder. I still don’t understand how people live like this. Feeling like this. I am lucky. I am seeing doctors and therapists and I am able to do that out of pocket. Most people with mental disorders are not able to and some even end up homeless. This has been the scariest time in my life. I don’t know if I will ever be 100% “normal” again. 

 

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Ignorance is bliss. Until it isn't anymore.

As far as "normal" is concerned, the truth is it's an evolving state of being. You'll find what works for you and you'll find your new normal.

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