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Confused and beyond dazed with a start of a mid li
by James J. Gill

previous entry: Feel like I'm ready to scream and shut down emotionally cause of a alcoholic mother

next entry: My currents thoughts bout my job, my life and my physco mother

People are dream killers and assholes

06/25/2015

As I write this I'm in pure anger and ready to punch faces in throats cause I'm tired of being treated like shit by them all I do is try to be nice and keep peace on things like at my job I have a boss that's pure cunt just yelling and talking people down and even making a few cry this person even have our big boss in fear and then theirs my current relationship that's slowly going south cause all I do is put up with her shit and her fucking idiot son stupid shit and do I get what I want? Hell fucking no and I can't even speak my mind at all and I know what I want is a relationship where I have say and I don't even have that and that leads into my ex that I still love but I'm starting to realize us trying again can happen but there's a lot she needs to do and give up her fucking ego and actually have ONE FUCKING CARE THAT I WORK AS A MANGER AND THERES TIMES I WORK ALOT CAUSE MY JOB THERES ONLY 6 OF US FRONT END MANGERS THAT WE HAVE AND IM THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS OPEN SCHEDULE AND THATS ALSO MY CURRENT SITUATION and now starting to spend time with my best friend I'm starting to fall for her and I keep talking myself out of dating her but the more I see her and hang with her I actually want to see where it goes but I don't want to ruin that and now to my fucking cunt that I call my mother she stays pissed off bout my love life telling me that she hated everyone that I dated and can't even let me try to live my life always calling me and telling me what I need to do and pretty much trying to control my life that's why I'm stressed and upset and ready to have a fucking nervous breakdown and I'm 31 I'm stressed pretty much 24/7/365 for different reasons and I'm actually been on the verge of doing very crazy things and one includes driving a car with no brakes and just dying in that car the shrink I see thinks it's my depression but I think it's getting worst cause I've never believe in sucide but now it's starting to come up in some of my thoughts I want help but I see around is that no one has the right idea to save me and right now I need to get off I have to get ready to close work tomorrow night with a 2-12:00 shift

previous entry: Feel like I'm ready to scream and shut down emotionally cause of a alcoholic mother

next entry: My currents thoughts bout my job, my life and my physco mother

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Hope things work out for you and you finally find happiness that you deserve! <3

[DepressedGurl84|0 likes] [|reply]

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