My mother always said "If everyone else is doing it, would you do it too?" - Challenge - | 05/12/2011 |
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Hell yes, I would. Well, depending on what it was...but in this situation, why not?
Here goes!
The Challenge
Day One: 10 different things you want to say to 10 different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
I'm gonna do my best to think of 10 things to say to people...this may take a while.
1. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are my heart, my soul and the reason I breath. Without you, my life would be incomplete. Every day you amaze me with the little things you do, and sometimes, you frustrate me with the things you do. But at the end of the day, I still love you. You will forever be a part of me. Because, you came from me.
2. Although we've had our problems, big and small, and we don't always agree on certain things, I consider you my best friend. No one will ever understand the friendship we have, because they just don't know. Sometimes I wish we were still together...I even get jealous every time I hear you've been with another girl, or you're dating again...and other times...well, I'm glad we're not together because you drive me nuts. But that will never change the fact that you were my first love, and you blessed my life with a beautiful little boy.
3. I have tried over and over again to believe you have changed. When you called Child Services on me and made false allegations, though I didn't talk to you for a long time, I forgave you. Because you said you had changed. When you needed money, I gave it to you. And never asked for a single cent back. When you needed someone to talk to, I was there. But once again you showed me that you have not in fact changed at all. You continue to let your boyfriend manipulate you into hating me and finding every reason you can think of to argue. I'm done with it. And I never want to hear from you again.
4. When I met you, I felt an instant connection. You are so much like me in different ways that it's almost scary. You always defend me when my parenting is critisized, and you make me feel like a person. When I'm around you, you make me laugh so hard my stomach starts to hurt...and when you're not around, I miss you. The day you looked at me and said "You're not like other girls", I fell in love. No one has ever offered such a compliment and meant it. I know you have sworn off relationships and have chosen to remain celebate, I secretly wish I could be yours. I wish I could tell you how I feel, but I know deep down it may take away the friendship we have. And if I can't have you, at least I have that.
5. You raised me and my brother all on your own. And for that, I respect you. But you also let a lot happen to me under your own roof and didn't do anything to stop it until I was 14 years old. For 5 years of my life, I was treated like I meant nothing. After you left him, things didn't change. Every chance you got, you made me wish I was dead. You WISHED me dead. I was told on a regular basis how worthless I was, and what I failure I was. I love you, and I always will. But because of these things, I will never be able to forgive you.
6. I never knew you. You left before I was born. Growing up, I always wondered what life would be like if you were around and actually made an effort to aknowledge me. But unfortunately, I was told on numerous occasions that you didn't even believe I was yours, and that if you ever ran into me on the street you wouldn't even look twice. I recently found you on Facebook, but have decided it's better not to contact you. It hurts. But perhaps, it's for the best.
7. I hate you. You are the reason for SO many of my emotional problems today. You were supposed to be someone I trusted, but instead at 9 years old, I learned what it was like to feel pain, real anger, and resentment. You took away my innocence when you molested me. You hurt me when you abused me. And you made me feel like crawling under a rock when you called me names. Unfortunately, I had to endure this for 5 years of my life. 5 years that I will never get back. I hope one day you pay for your mistakes. And when you die, I hope you go straight to hell.
8. Fuck you. You lied, and did everything you could to make me out to be a horrible person. You had me wrongly charged for something I didn't do, and then had my son's father charged with something so heinous that it could ruin his life, and again, something he didn't do. Do you have a conscience? You have a child, but yet you don't seem to think about your actions before you do something. I have one word for you. Karma.
9. Because of you, I have very few friends. You turned your back on me, and made everyone believe things about me that aren't true. You are my family, and yet that doesn't seem to mean anything to you at all. But because of you, I know now who my real friends are. I also know now, that you can't trust anyone in this world. Even your family.
10. I miss you. SO much. The day you died, a piece of me died as well. I know in the beginning I didn't like you, but that changed over the years. You were like a little sister to me. And though you are gone, your memory will live on through your little boy. My beautiful nephew. I love you, and I will see you soon.
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