So, our Christmas vacation was jump started early due to Jon's step-dad dying and us bumping up our timeframe to come over the mountain for the holidays. What should have been a hopefully happy time with family has turned into the most miserable and uncomfortable situation I've ever been in and I am praying that we can handle it for another few days before we are scheduled to leave, the day after Christmas. So let me back up and give you some more details. Jon's family has never been what most of us would consider a family, they often ignore him, not calling unless they need or want something, barely, if ever remembering to say happy birthday, happy father' day, etc. His son is no exception. He maintains, and has told anyone that will listen, that he had a terrible horrible childhood, and while I wasn't there, from what Jon has told me (and yes I trust him implicitly) he was very strict and has high expectations, but he wasn't cruel or abusive and they played together and all the things that a good dad does. Their circumstances were a bit different than some, because Jon's wife was not an invovled parent as James got older, was very involved in alcohol and drugs and other things, and so Jon would work hard all day long and then would come home and have to do all the stuff at home that Polly never did; laundry and dishes would pile up until there was nothing clean and the rest of the house was never cleaned so Jon eventually gave up trying to beg her to do something and just did it all himself, thus meaning he was always busy doing something and always tired, but he still did stuff with James, still too him to martial arts class, sports, parks, etc. So he maybe didn't have a priviledged life like many others but he wasn't neglected and always had his neccessities met. Anyways, so the rest of his family is pretty much hands off too, and Jon's mom is quite a character herself. So, fore Christmas time James had asked/offered for us to stay at their house, since they have room in the new place, so we were really happy that we didn't have to pay for a hotel, or we would have only been able to stay overnight and had to go back the next day. When we knew we were going over early, James asked if we were still planning to stay through until Christmas, as we were supposed to meet the future in-laws for the first time, and with the death, Jon's mom wasn't going to be doing the family dinner at her place, so James volunteered to do it at his place, where we are staying. Add to all this mess that they have 3 med/large dogs, which are a little trained, but they really let them run almost wild all over the house and get away with a hell of a lot of stuff I would never let a dog do if I had one, including fighting with each other in the house and barking incessantly without caring that it may or does bother other people (especially us that are not used to having dogs around). Catie also runs a home daycare out of her front livingroom so there was extra added stress and major noise due to that too. So we've been under a lot of stress before we get here and when we get here, the family is their normal strange self and then at home there are dogs running wild and barking and running over my son, just being totally unruly, etc. On top of this, I came down with a sinus infection the day before we left so I'm sick and absolutely miserable to the core, making things even worse for me. Jon isn't sleeping well, the first night he froze because James and Catie have absolutely no concept of what it is to have company, how to act, how to prepare, what to do, etc. so while they did open the heater vents before we got here, they neglected to make sure the window was fastened shut and so there was a draft coming in all night. The next night they got him another blanket and turned up the heat a little, however this house is really strange and it gets hot and cold very abnormally, doesn't keep an even temperature, making is hard to be comfortable most of the time. Not being prepared also includes not telling us until the 2nd night that there were towels in our bathroom (under the sink), they didn't really have a bed for Garret to sleep on because the dogs popped the air mattress before we got here so he (and I) are sleeping on the floor in the other bedroom with only a matress pillowtop cover for padding under us and Jon is having to use his heavy winter coat as an extra pillow, not to mention the sheets on his full size bed are meant to fit a queen and keep falling off. Catie hasno clue how to cook anything, beside mac n chees for her kid, bagels, toast, etc....not real meals, which she freely admits, I have no qualms about that, however, they did not prepare anything for us at all, basically telling us to just raid the cupboards and fend for ourselves, in not so many words. Yet, when I make meals for them, then she complains because the kitchen is dirty and she has to clean up the dishes. There is no gratitude for us helping them, for us visiting them, for me helping her babysit kids and spending hours rocking and walking a screaming teething baby after she had been babysitting her normal kids all day. And that's not even the worst. Oh yes, the story gets better...well worse. After being up late the night before with the screaming baby, I was exhausted and slept in really late, not getting up until about 11. James had gone to work earlier and Jon and Garret were watching movies. Catie had left earlier to go get her hair done and came back shortly after I got up. Everyone was hungry, including me, so I whipped up brealfast and we all sat around eating and having a pretty good day. Catie and I went shopping later to get some necessities and groceries and she had a few kids in the afternoon, which was not too bad. The evening was pretty ok, a little stressful again because of all the dogs running around pretty wild and they not really seeming to care until we said something and then they would try to correct the dogs but not really mean it and the fact that Catie was watching recorded tv shows that were totally innapropriate for Garret to watch (even some stuff I could barely handle watching) so Garret had to stay in the front play room and couldn't be with us because she wanted to watch her stupid show. She did turn it off for dinner and we watched a different movie, although not totally appropriate, it was ok. James went to bed early and we followed a little while later because we were really tired. Jon had not had a very good night due to the screaming baby and not feeling well, so he was realy tired. Catie decided to stay downstairs and watch some more of her recorded tv shows. The bad things is that the livingroom is right under the room Jon is staying in and the TV is in a cubby above the fireplace, exactly right under the head of Jon's bed and she had the volume up so loud on the tv that we could literally hear almost everything that was on the show from in our room. So after a while of gritting our teeth, I went down and sweetly asked her if she could turn the tv down. She agreeded sweetly enough and moved it down like 2 notches...not really making a big difference, but at least a little. This was around 1130pm or so. The noise continued and two hours later Jon went down and asked her if she could please turn it down some more because it was right below his bed and he could not sleep, so she snottily says that she guesses she'll go to bed. Meanwhile, I not being able to sleep, amused myself trying to crochet a hat until was I wa sleepy enough to fall asleep, which was after 3am. Jon, in the meantime, had a horrible time sleeping, and finally gave up around 830 and went down stairs because James was feeding the dogs and they were also outside running around, barking and fighting like normal. I managed a few extra hours and went down a little later and made breakfast for Jon and Garret. Catie didn't make an appearance until sometime after 1pm and the dogs had been in her room so we had a few hours of peace and quiet. Then right as we were all laying down to take a much needed nap, Catie got up and let the dogs out and the barking and racing around the house and fighting and yelling at the dogs started again, and she turned on the tv...with the volume way up loud. Jon and I have been very patient in dealing with all this, desperatly trying to hold it together, trying to understand their life and accomodate them as they are apparently trying to accomodate us, however, it only got worse. This evening, after the dogs were continuing to bark and make excessive noise, we once again retreated to our rooms to try and rest and relax a bit. James came home and when he poked his head into my room to say HI, I casually mentioned something about it being a really stressful day, with the dogs really barking a lot, etc. so when he went to the store, he took one of them with him, which was a nice reprieve, it was fairly quite for a while, but then one of the other ones whined and howled. Jon had come in my room to talk to me about something and Catie had come up to ask a question and he kindly asked her if there was anything she could do to stop the dog from howling and making so much noise and Catie snapped and basically yelled at him (her future father-in-law and house guest) and told him that he was a guest here and that this is how they live and he will just have to deal with it and stompped away...Jon and I both stood there with our mouths hanging open, staring after her in utter disbelief and astonishment at having been treated so horribly. Never, in my whole life, have I ever experienced anything like I have tonight. Jon came in and sat with me on my floor bed and we talked about it, debating whether to pack up and leave, or to try and wait it out. It is such a difficult decision, as she is pregnant and this will be his first grandchild and the last thing he wants to do it alienate himself from his son and not be able to have any contact with his grandchild. After much discussion, we have decided to stay, on the contingency that if they let the dogs hurt Garret again, we are packing up and walking out the door and going home. I have never been in a place where, as a guest, I have been treated with such disrespect and the "hosts" were so unfeeling/uncaring. I have come to realize that these kids have absolutely no concept of how to act or treat a guest in their home, much less prepare for one. And God help us, they are going to have a baby in July. I can only hope and pray that they get things together before then or that God assigns extra angels because if not there is huge potential that things may go very badly. And Catie, being pregnant, has had to go off her Ritalin, so besides being excessively spacey, she is incredibly moody and unpredictable. Had I known that in advance, I may not have agreed to stay here. I don't know if Catie said anything to James when he came back from town, but she is now acting like nothing ever happened, though James is really keeping the dogs in line, which I totally appreciate, however, as I am writing this, Catie is again watching TV and the volume is up ssoooooo loud that, two rooms away upstairs, I can hear the words and the music is horribly loud. I have never been treated so rudely and with such disrespect in my life and I'm so dissapointed. Jon is way beyond that, he moved past rage and is in the i don't care area. He is going to take a sleeping pill or two tonight and get some sleep and hopefully things will go better tomorrow, however, if they get worse and we absolutely cannot handle it, we will be going home tomorrow and missing Christmas here, not that we would want to stay if things get worse anyways. I'm praying they don't because I don't want to see the rift between Jon and his son get worse and I want him to be able to see his grandbaby when it comes. So I'm asking for your extensive and continuing prayers for the rest of our stay here, that we will be able to keep calm, that things will get better or at least not get any worse. I haven't even been able to concentrate enough to do my homework and I'm supposed to turn in an essay or something tomorrow night, but I don't know if I will be able to work on it. The good thing is at after tomorrow my school goes on break so technically I can work on it for the next two weeks and turn it in any time and only get docked for it being late by one day, which I might do...wait until I get home so I can focus and do a good job. Anyways, that is not all that has gone wrong, there has been lots more, just one thing after another. I am trying to hold it together and to keep Jon grounded from blowing up, I hope and pray that we have a bit of calm for a while now. If I do not get to update again tonight or tomorrow, I will when I get home, on what ever day that may be, but planned is on Wed night or thur. Please pray that the snow in the pass slows down so that we can get home as soon as possible because if it doesn't we're going home anyways and we still need massive prayers for a safe journey on whatever day that ends up being. And yes, comments and suggestions are encouraged and welcomed...especially sarcastic ones that will make me smile, as I'm in desperate need of that right now. |
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