that's just great, just fuckin great

11/08/2012

so I had my phone interview to get my food stamps recertified this morning and because of some of the questions she asked, based on my answers, she lowered my amount from $367 down to $214, I'm so pissed right now that I can't even begin to think clearly. That's what honesty gets you in this world, leads you to starving, I guess. We weren't making it on the amount before, now there is no way I'm going to be able to make it now. This totally sucks, and of course you can't go back and say, oops, I messed up, they would know you are lying just to get more money. It's totally unfair. I can't go get a job and I can't seem to make any money online, in fact ebay is sucking me dry with all the fees so I'm actually paying more than I'm making, it is a complete rip off. And the bad thing is that I have to wait another 6 months to get re-certified or else turn in a letter from Gramma/Mom saying that I now am required to pay rent and then they may change it back to the other amount. Tempted to fill out the paperwork and see if the state would get more childsupport from Matt than he is giving me now, and if so, then I can change the rent status back again and I may still qualify for additional funds, but I really don't know. I'm so frustrated at not being able to support myself. I won't go back on my promise to care for gramma, but with my pell grant being taken away too, there will be no extra money at all after this semester and I don't know how we are going to survive. Jon is looking for a job but there isn't anything in his skill range around here and it may be a little difficult for him to get something decent real soon, being that he has been out of work for so long. And all mom can keep doing is harping on the fact that there is not even enough money to pay the bills and how she can't go see the dr's she needs to because she doesn't have the money and so she still always feels bad, grrrr, this really sucks. I don't have any answers and very few options and I don't like being trapped like this, it makes me sick and mad and frustrated and I worry all the time and have no energy to do anything because I'm so depressed and even more depressed cause I can't go to the dr to get any help about it...and the cycle continues...People keep saying pray about it, God will help you if you trust Him. Really? or is this one of this cases where He's going to let me sweat it out because I need to solve this on my own? How do you know? Cause so far I haven't gotten any help at all, things have only gotten worse and I'm starting to lose my surface faith. Deep inside I know that He loves me and cares for me but on the surface there are certainly days when I wonder if my prayers and pleas for help are getting lost along the way. I'm gonna go take a nap and pray that something will work out.

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next entry: My heart is aching

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Here's the problem with your promise: It doesn't allow for you to care for your own IMMEDIATE family (you, G, and Jon). If you have to make a choice between continuing to care for Ouma or getting a job to financially support your family, you HAVE TO choose getting a job. Whether Mom likes it or not, that is the right and responsible thing to do. Especially with her being the way she is being about everything.

Was your SNAP reduced because of the income you're making with selling things? The thing with food stamps is if that is the case, your grant can be different the next month if your income is not made this month. You may have to wait six months to be re-certified, but if your income decreases you CAN call and try to get the amount increased even if it hasn't been six months.

[Mommy to 3+1|0 likes] [|reply]

Jon is actively looking for a job but that may still take a while for it to happen. Ouma cannot be left alone, someone has to be here at all times, and if we all went to work during the day, we would have to pay for someone to come watch her and that would cost more than me staying home right now. I have considered us all getting part time jobs, on different shifts, so that someone is here all the time with her and when Garret get's home but I don't know if that would work either. As for the benefits, they only ever asked before what I was supposed to be paying for rent, because the first guy that did the intake told me to say that, well this lady asked me if I was actually paying rent and, not thinking or knowing better, I said, No because I couldn't afford to right now. As for the stuff I'm selling, I barely get a few $ a month, and right now I am lucky if I sell one movie a month, which gets me maybe $2 or so, so it's not even worth mentioning. Jon did mention that to me that I can fill out the form that circumstances have changed, send in proof or a letter and that maybe we can get things changed. The other thing I might be able to do is add him to the application and that might help for a bit, until he gets a job and then we'll have to change it again but we'll see.

[Garret's mom|0 likes] [|reply]

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