ReVisualise Add Fave Search
Not Logged In
0
Your Username:
Your Password:

[ sign up | recover ]

Musing, notions, thoughts and random ramblings
by Man without fear

previous entry: The red-haired girl...and what's really important

next entry: interesting......and update at end.

tough call....

02/21/2009

it's a tough beat....

i wrote previously how i ran into my ex, Jennifer....and then again a couple of weeks later.

and she's been fairly embedded in my mind ever since then "like a splinter in my mind driving me mad"

So, i dug her old address, wrote her a letter. something very simple. It ran along the lines of:

"Hey, i really liked chatting with you that day at Algonquin. I was wondering if you'd like to get re-acquainted. I realize i fucked up in some pretty epic ways, but i think i can be the friend you deserve now."

I also asked her, for the sake of my own peace of mind and sanity to please if she received my letter to respond even if it was in a negative so that i'd be able to rest easier.

and two months have passed and no news.

and she's stuck in my brain....merely because it's not 'in order' it's like having all my books neatly organized and having a pile next to the bookcase because there's no room, sure the bookshelf may be all nice and organized but all i see is the pile next to it making a mess.

Much the same with Jennifer.

So......I'm thinking about popping by her place just asking if she got my letter. Then i'll have my answer and can move on.

It's entirely possible, even likely she's moved and never got my letter. The building she is/was(?) in is primarily college students so what do you bet the odds are of one of 'em putting "return to sender" on an envelope would be?

i'm loathe to repeat the kind of stuff that she found so off-putting in the first place...still if she did get my letter then it doesn't matter....

i guess it's a situation where i can't win.....so i can't lose.

tough beat.

good night and good luck!

previous entry: The red-haired girl...and what's really important

next entry: interesting......and update at end.

0 likes, 2 comments

[ | add comment ]

Add Comment

Add Comment

Please enter the following WHITE digits in the box below.

Confirmation Code

Sounds like a good plan to me if you really want to be her friend.

[~*Jodi*~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

You had written an entry about your step-dad, but I think you made it private or something... I had written you a long note on it, but it wouldn't accept the note because you deleted the entry, etc. but I just wanted to let you know that I had a very similar childhood experience with my stepdad from age 2-20 who abused me and told me everyday that nobody would ever love me and I would never amount to anything. Because I am a female, it manifested itself in poor relationship choices and doing things that I shouldn't do for whatever reasons and hurting people - because people do learn what they live. Children become what they are taught. You can't hear those things every day for 18 years and NOT believe them deep in your subconscious. It doesn't matter how many times you think that you have "worked through them"... somehow, they are still there. It comes out in the anger that I saw in your entry, and in other ways in me, but I just wanted to say that you're not alone, and I know exactly how you feel in that respect. I don't know that it helps or makes you feel any better, but I just wanted to let you know anyway.

[~*Jodi*~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

Online Friends
Offline Friends