I lost my first love one year ago. I never told him. We met when we were tweens. He was my neighbor. When I found out he had feelings for me. Allowed my depression take over. Making me feel, both afraid and unworthy of him. So I pushed him away. Now he is gone.
I have a boyfriend now, and I do love him. It's just the thought of my first love not being in this world, Breaks my heart, and makes me feel I failed him.
But I have to hide this pain because, no one can know how much I loved him. So I only let myself, cry for him alone. It is what I deserve.