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Where does it hurt?
by lillianbliss

previous entry: Not that new

She's mine


But she isn't...


My niece Nylah just left with her mother for the weekend. We share custody of her. It's supposed to be joint. She's supposed to get her every other week. She comes and goes as she pleases and I never make a big deal of it because it doesn't seem to affect Nylah. She doesn't much care for her and all it does is disrupte our routine and what we have going on. I always have so much anxiety Whenever she does actually leave with her mother because I KNOW she's not being looked after properly. Nylah is also non verbal and this intensifies my anxiety of not having her with me. I can't stop crying. I know that I should be thankful for a break because it's hard handling her some days but I know what she wants and what she needs and she also doesn't like being away ftom me for long. I can't help but wonder if she's thinking I'm just handing her over and leaving her. I won't be able to sleep tonight feeling like this or the night after. I just want my baby back home with me.


I know that if we did have a set schedule and she followed it it wouldn't be so bad. The baby and I both would get used to it and the time would fly by but she's never followed anything. I can only pray that God doesn't take his hand off of my little and returns her happy and healthy because Lord knows that's not always the case. 

previous entry: Not that new

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[Greta GarbageStar|0 likes] [like|reply]

This must be really tough. Is there a way to negotiate a fixed timetable for Nylah?

[The RyanStar|0 likes] [like|reply]