Despair

30 Day Challenge

Day 2: What is the meaning behind your bloopdiary name?

Well Emerald Lies is the name of a song that I like by the band Marillion. Green is my favourite colour but I also love the meaning behind it, I interpret it as lies born from jealousy, and while I don't lie because I'm jealous I do feel jealous quite often.

I really need to get a job, I'm starting to feel sick all the time about not having one but I just feel so scared of all the things I have to do for it. For example I don't know if I have officially quit my previous job as I don't have a P45 and they still send me e-mail updates. I don't know how to get a reference for my old job because it's changed and the person I would have got a reference from is not there for family reasons. Also I feel that I'm embarressed to ask for a reference from my university tutor because I'm not going into anything special just looking for a part time job. Aragh I just wish all this was sorted so I can have a job that I do while waiting for positions in the public sector to open up and so I'm not looked upon as the lazy child who is unemployed and doing nothing all day!