Alot has been going on. I've been depressed lately and everything just seems to be going wrong. I'm starting to get things together in some aspects of my life but in others not so well. Isiah and I haven't seen each other outside of work, he's always busy or something. I wouldn't care so much if he was just a simple one night stand to me. I care about him. I'm not emotionally ready for a relationship, but I want to have him around (not for sexytime) when I'm lonely and just want to be held, or when I just want to hang out. We text every now and then but nothing great. He says he has a lot going on and I believe him, but I do too, and right now I feel like he's the only one that can temporarily make things better. But I should have known better. I shouldn't have let what happened between us happen. And I already know to expect nothing from a male (sorry guys!). I don't know where to turn, I have no one I can talk to. I know things will get better for me at some point but when? My whole life it seems like the bad things always outweigh the good. And I'm tired of it being that way. I work hard, I'm a good mom and, I'm constantly going out of my way to help other people, yet I still have all this negative energy/karma coming at me. It makes me feel like I'm a waste of space.
God I need a Vacation :|
Well this was the bitch and moan segment of my diary. |
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