T

01/01/2012

How hard it is to formulate my thoughts and try, once again, to say what seemed before so easy to put into words. Tentative, because of the pain I have caused. Oh, how little I understood the meaning of my actions. I should have had more consideration, not only with my own feelings, but of that tenderness I had no understanding of. I wished to empty my closeted thoughts. Now, unlike before, I understand how unwittingly I acted. With that thought on my mind, I wish to speak of my emotions, but cannot physically or emotionally wrap my arms around all of it. I miss one of the best things that ever happened to me. I write of my recriminations. To feel that great epiphany, just to be exceptionally blessed by those who lay bare their souls... I wish to make amends. How does one start fresh? I thought I had once before and I look at disaster done. God, help me that I don't repeat history.