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it is what it is...
by iT's JESSiCA BABii &

previous entry: o01. i'm home again. I think....

next entry: o03. Electric, Phones, and Texting. *PIXS*

Every guy, or just mine?

02/26/2009

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Is every guy just controlling?
Somebody please tell me.

I think I found the worst of them all.

He doesn't let me do shit, I sit at home and take care of the baby and clean the house. That's my role . I'm 19, he's 19. This is like problems we shouldnt be dealing with yet. I can't work. I can't leave the house without telling him where I am going and who I am with. He took me away from all of my friends. And i'm telling you...I don't handle any kind of authority very well. Yet, im letting this occur...

I believe that he doesnt want me to work because he doesnt want me to be outside the home working and bringing in a paycheck and having destiny in daycare or wherever she ends up and him not being needed anymore. He is needed by me right now because I dont work and I dont have my own car. I need him to work. So if I start working that will cause me to not need him, in his eyes, and I might leave him. Thats it! I know it! He is insecure about me leaving him. As long as I need him, I wont leave. He knows that I am an independent person and I do what I want and he doesnt like it.

A relationship is two people that are partners in life. They are like flowers. They both have to live and grow. Together. And apart. They are together growing, but they are individual flowers. When one is not growing, they both can die. When something is wrong with one, they both can die. The relationship, I mean, can die. When I am not growing as an individual, our relationship together can die. I was and still am an individual. I dont live to have someone else live the life I want to live as well. Daniel works. I do not. I do not want to spend the next twenty years staying home raising children. That is not what is in my picture of my future. No. I will still need Daniel even after I am working. I need that relationship with him. Just because I am working outside the home doesnt mean I dont need him. He is so paranoid that Im going to leave him and find someone else.

Daniel is just like his brother. He wants to control me. The difference between him and his brother is his brother chose a wife that doesnt do anything about it, she lets him control her. I dont let Daniel do that. But if I were like his brothers wife, he would be just as controlling. Daniel will rarely admit when he is wrong and ALWAYS says that I am wrong when I am. He lacks control in me and my life. He questions anything I want to do. I mentioned to him about hanging out with a friend saturday and he asked me why I would want to do that. Like he cant believe I actually want to leave the house and do something besides my motherly role. WTF?! If I wanted a man to treat me like a dog I would have stayed with my ex. Gimme a break. What Daniel doesnt understand is that when he tries to control me and not support me, HE is pushing me away from him. He is treading on shaky ground right now. He needs to realize that. Dont fuck with my future!! I swear to God, I dont need this shit from him. I dont.

I cant understand why he wont support me on this. Why he cant give me that bit of encouragement that I give him about everything. I get nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

I will leave if he doesnt stop being so selfish and controlling over me. I will leave.

I dont want a man that is insecure about himself or his life. I dont want a man that feels he doesnt deserve the things he has. I dont want a man that cant believe he got me. I dont want a man that doesnt have any ambition for anything. I dont want a man that acts like he has no reason to live. I dont want a man that doesnt want more than we have. I dont want a man that doesnt support his woman. I dont want a man that isnt a father to his daughter. I dont want a man that isnt happy. I dont want a man that wont talk to me. I dont want a man that doesn't want his woman to be happy too. I dont want a man that doesnt care.

So far, Daniel is all of these things just about.

Is it every guy or just mine?



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previous entry: o01. i'm home again. I think....

next entry: o03. Electric, Phones, and Texting. *PIXS*

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its not every guy, im not controlling in the least, honestly ever woman in my life controls me lol not that its a good thing but i just dont have the personality to tell a snail what to do let alone a woman.

I mean ive heard guys say "its not that i dont trust her, I just dont trust the guys around her"

My thought is that you dont have to trust the guys shes around, even if they try anything doesnt mean she will do anything. All you have to do is trust the woman your with and thats enough.

anyway i hope everything works out for ya

[TheLazyNinjaStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I promise you this is not every guy. I have had those controlling ones, and I have had ones on the in between. I have Josh now who is I tihnk as laid back as they come. I can work if I want, but if I don't want to that is fine to. I can take his truck and go out but if he is tired he will stay home. Just kinda give and take, compromise. I am sorry you feel like this but its not good. If you just need a listener I'm good at that too

[♥ Bella|0 likes] [|reply]

lol honestly girls are pretty easy for me to figure out. Only time i cant figure a girl out is once a month....ill never understand what women want then lol

[TheLazyNinjaStar|0 likes] [|reply]

this isn't every guy at all. my boyfriend is nothing like this if anything he is the opposite and never wants to overstep that boundary. he doesn't even ask me not to do things unless he thinks i will get hurt.

[take me there|0 likes] [|reply]

i don't think it's right for either person to be so possessive or controlling in a relationship. personally, it's always been my thougt that i have my friends and if whoever i'm in a relatioship with says, "oh, you can't see this person" or, "you can't do this." i'm pretty much out of there. might not be the best solution in the world, but it's worked well enough for me thus far. if he's really not going to listen to reason, then this sounds like it has all the earmarks of an unhealthy relationship. far be it from me to carry any weight on your decision, since this is pretty important and you don't really know me at all, but my advice would be to first prep an escape plan, and then get out as soon as possible. but it wouldn't be good to just up and leave without having a good idea of where you're going and what you plan to do next either.

well, i hope this has been at least some help to you.

all the best in your decisions and relationship dilemmas

-Neurotically Yours

[-Neurotically Yours|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc: its so relieving to be like "i owe nothing on my credit card" its a very nice feeling

[..toxique..|0 likes] [|reply]

I live in Iowa!!! i hate it here lol. there was no power outs here thank god but its cold fuck!!! lol.

[babykahalla|0 likes] [|reply]

its certainly not EVERY guy, but im sure theres quite a number. i hope you can get away from someone that controlling - its not good for you emotionally or for destiny, imo. but what do i know ;P good luck girl!

[feistyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: o01. i'm home again. I think....

next entry: o03. Electric, Phones, and Texting. *PIXS*

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