Family Education

Today didn't start on the same high note on which the past two days began.  Corri went out with Jason last night, and apparently fell asleep over at his house, even though Al was supposed to pick her up after he got off work.  He drove over there, called her several times, waited in front of the house for about 20 minutes, called me and I tried calling both her and Jason with no luck reaching either of them.  Al left, not a very happy camper, and I wasn't happy either, and basically left them both a message that said from now on, if Jason picks her up and takes her out, it's his responsibility to bring her home again cuz we're not doing this again.

I'll admit, I was worried a little.  I worried more about Corri being safe than relapsing, but there was a niggling in me that worried about that too, because I know Jason.  He said he won't drink around her, but he is a major pothead.  He's the one who sold to me.  I worried that he might want to hit the chronic and that perhaps it could tempt my sister.  I'd say I have a right to worry at least a little, but the thing is, I trust in Corri's strength to say no.  I made the niggling worry go away really fast.

Corri apologized when she did come home, and I apologized if I came off as a bitch in the messages I left, and she told me I didn't, that it was understandable I felt as I did.  So all is good between us, and for that, I'm glad.

She came home just in time to get a shower and for the three of us to turn around and leave for the family meeting.  We met Mom & Dad there.  It wasn't really family counseling, like we thought, but rather, family education.  A little more in-depth than the stuff we got while she was in rehab, but along the same lines.  I found it interesting, and I know Al did, too.  We discussed different roles played by various people in the family, and my role is that of "Hero."  Not in the sense that I have to save her or anything like that, but the hero role is one of over-achiever, or a person who needs the outside world to see and believe that everything is fine and we're just a normal family.  The hero role develops because that person, in this case me, is trying to cover up for disturbing things going on within the family.

The more I thought about it, the more right I thought it was.  I've always been the over-achiever in the family and the perfectionist, because I've always felt I had something to cover up or make up for - like the fact, when I was a child, that my parents were divorced and I didn't have a dad during a period of time when divorce in the Catholic Church was still a stigma.  I excelled at school and tried to be a perfectionist to cover up issues with my weight, and with the fact that we were not well-off financially.  As I grew older, those perfectionism traits were honed because I was covering up for the fact that Dad was an abusive drinker.

It's all very complex, but it all made sense to me.  I know our family is in dire need of family therapy because we need to get out of those roles that each of us are in, but I also know that family counseling will never happen.  Mom & Dad just wouldn't go or take part in it, and neither would Bob.  So in the absence of that, I can only work on myself to try and lose my hero label.

All I can say to that is - I'm working on it already.

Al stayed home from work today to attend the family education session.  They gave him a vacation day which he got approved ahead of time.  He'll be off next Wednesday, too, to attend.  Corri thought it was sweet that he did that just for her, but we are both committed to being there for her during her recovery as much as we can be.

Since Al was home today and Corri was gone, we had a bit of play time this afternoon.  I think it ended too soon for Al, but he got a charlie horse that totally blew the mood.  Still, I know he enjoyed himself more than once.  He's such a marathon man.  Sometimes I feel guilty about not wanting to play as much as he does, but dang.  How much can one woman take?

I told Corri tonight that I missed our morning meditation time.  And I really did.  I was up at 6:00am, but she wasn't home, so I went back to bed and slept until 9:00am.  That's late for me these days.  Tomorrow we'll be back on the meditation horse at 6:00am.

The three of us are settled in now for a night of television programs, so it's going to take me forever to finish this entry.  I don't like writing when I'm watching, so I can only write during commercials.  LOL

Once we decide something is wrong (being overweight, for example), then doing that thing is sinful.  Some may say, "Well, the Bible doesn't say obesity is a sin."  The Bible does tell us that anything we do that makes us less than Go created us to be is a sin.  To be pure in heart means to try to do everything we know we ought to do.  We ought to regard our own bodies with respect.  We ought to be an example for others to follow.  We ought to do all we can to be all we can.  When we stay true to what we know in our hearts is right, then we will be assured of a place with God in His kingdom.

Today's thought:  I will do all I can to be all I am meant to be!