ocument type="layout" layout="Rainbow Dripping" layout_href="/lovebipolarinc/rainbowdripping" author="Beth@Love Bipolar Inc." author_href="/lovebipolarinc">
 | I like this kind of thing 
I'm stealing this idea from Valerie. She's awesome.
Also... I'm going to be putting streaks of color in my hair (kind of one of those things I've always wanted to do and if I don't do it I'll still always wish I had)... I haven't decided weather or not I'm going to do pink and purple.. or just purple.
Any ideas?
On with the list... Ten Things I Want To Say
1) I've been there. The scratches on your arm from your cat? They aren't from a cat. You cut yourself. Your stressed and tired and you need to affect something. You need to control something. Like I said. I've been there. I've been that tired and that depressed and I'll bet you've thought of cutting deeper. Of just sleeping. And seeing your friend again because you miss her and it's not fair that she's gone and you're still here where everything hurts. It hurts that she isn't here. It hurts that your parents seem to let your brother get away with being an irresponsible jerk and you've got to be the grown up.
But those cuts on your arm? They make you feel better for what... a day or two? The release doesn't last that long.
I repeat... I've been there. I used to cut. I thought about killing myself.
But you're amazing. You have people that love you. I'm here if you want to talk about anything. I'll even give you a hug. And you know how much I hate touching people. You? You get as many hugs and hours of listening ears as you want.
2) You don't know what kind of pain she's in. How dare you say she's faking it to get out of work? Get your head out of your ass. It'll make it lots easier to do your own job instead of standing around bitching about the lady who got to go home sick. You don't even do the same job as she does. It didn't affect the amount of work that you had to do. So just shut up. The next time you call in with the sniffles I'm calling bullshit.
3) Why are you proud of being a slut?
4) I love you. I just wish you didn't think you knew what was best for everyone involved. Because you didn't. I wish you would just listen to me and try and understand/support my decision. You know... like a normal family kind of thing.
5) I love you but you're kind of dumb. Either she loves you and wants to be with you... or she doesn't. Yeah she's stressed with school and pressure from her family... but you know what? You deserve better than to be jerked around.
6) I love you.. mostly because I'm stuck with you. If you weren't in my family I wouldn't talk t you ever again.
7) Think you know a whole lot about me? You've got me all figured out haven't you? I'm dumb because I'm not taking my kid's father to court for money? You don't know anything about me or the situation.
You don't know that I grew up knowing that members of my family thought my parents should have stopped at one kid. I was aware from a very young age, that I was a disappointing decision and that bled into me being a disappointment no matter what I did.
So I don't want my kid to feel like she was forced on someone. I want her to feel loved.
And I'm doing my best to make sure that the man who said it would be better if she'd never been born, doesn't make her feel the same way.
So the next time you feel like lecturing me on that matter... don't. I won't listen.
6) You broke my heart. It took seven years. But you broke my heart.
And my baby fixed it.
The next time I see you... I probably won't actually see you. There was a time when I would get short of breath, my heart went all fluttery... I felt like I was in love with you. But now? I wouldn't even see you.
7) I wish you would just listen. No argument, no judgement, no trying to sway my opinion... Just listen to me.
Too anyone... just listen.
8) You talk shit about her partying while her kids are at her mom's house, safe and tucked in bed. She hardly has any time for herself and sometimes she likes to go out and have a drink with a friend or two. She makes sure her kids are safe at her mom's house if she brings a guy home.
You sit at your house, get drunk off your ass, fight with your husband (who's also drunk), and have obnoxiously loud sex/fights. All while you're toddler is sleeping upstairs.
Shut the hell up.
9) If you have abandoment issues... go see a therapist. Please. I'm sick of hearing about it.
10) You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. |
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