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Redneck relations?
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1 Sep 2009, 20:56
The Ryan
Post Count: 415
Nothing quite says "baby's christening" like a big mechanical bull... right?

Yes, I've just just spent the past half hour shamelessly judging the most redneck members of my distant relations (I can't stress the term DISTANT quite enough!).

They have just posted pictures to facebook of themselves enjoying a day out at their baby's baptism... Having hired a great big mechanical bull for the reception afterwards.

I really wish this was some clever metaphor. But alas, it is nothing of the sort.

The baby's mother is having a whale of a time, in a see-thru floral dress, her flabby white thighs clinging to the robotic rodeo they have rented for baby's big day.

And the grandmother (my dad's cousin's wife) seems to be quite the conoisseur of riding cowgirl, as she tosses about in her dishevelled clothes, with just a glimpse of nipple hanging out.

Oh Gosh, I think I was just sick a bit in my mouth.

Is a mechanical bull really appropriate for a baby's christening!? And why do people who have never been to Church in their lives insist on christening their illigitimate offspring?

Please tell me I'm not the only one with inappropriate relations? It's about time we started a support thread for those with embarrassing extended families! Please discuss yours here and make me feel a bit better about my own! ;D

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2 Sep 2009, 03:00
Post Count: 751
That's rather embarrassing. EVERYONE in my family is divorced & remarried multiple times. I have like 6+ set of grandparents because of this. Plus I have more ex step-brothers & sisters than I have teeth. LOL

My grandfather (dad's bio father) says whatever goes through his head. He is always embarrassing me at public places because he is so rude and outspoken. He told a waitress one time she needed to shave her upper lip. Needless to say, I didn't eat my food there in fear she had put something in my food.
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2 Sep 2009, 03:09
Post Count: 68
I ask myself the same question.. my family never stepped foot in a church and yet they baptized me for some unworldly reason.
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2 Sep 2009, 03:39
Post Count: 571
Gotta' cover all bases, ya know?
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2 Sep 2009, 03:40
Post Count: 68
i suppose they couldnt predict that i dont have a belief or religious bone in my body and honestly dont concern myself with life after death lol
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4 Sep 2009, 03:42
Meghans Follie
Post Count: 433
from what I understand my biological family could be who jeff foxworthy bases his "you might be a redneck if..." on. They seem to not marry outside of the town boarder either.

My adopted brother and I are 4 years apart - adopted 4 years apart. yet we are 1st cousins.

I have biological uncles who married neices (step daughters) and worse. Its insane. Makes me VERY grateful I was adopted
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2 Sep 2009, 15:12
Post Count: 162
Your family is just special. I mean, you can't be the only one that's shiny. They're just...shiny in a completely different way. It gives you something to write about at least.

I'd be most disturbed by the nipple showing. I can't even stomach my mom going "OW CAT, STOP STEPPING ON MY NIPPLE!"'s just not right. She didn't breastfeed me. They're not of-use anymore and should not be mentioned in everyday conversation.

As for 'distant' we're all 99.9% related, yo. ;D
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