Interesting. Thanks for sharing. So I wonder what the "fine print" is. (I'm not Catholic, but the topic interests me as I have several Catholic friends.) Can only people in AIDS-ravaged countries take advantage of this exception?

I'm quite curious about that as well, but when you think it about HIV is present in most places, so surely he can't put greater worth on someones life due to where they live, but then again at the same time due to less education and a lack of funds for treatment, that kind of makes you understand why it could be limited to the countries with a greater problem with HIV/AIDS.

I thought the 'exception' so to speak only applied to married couples in which a spouse has the HIV virus. I could be wrong but it seems like that was what I heard about it.

they need to waste time and money on a study to figure this out. they should have asked me, i could have told them this.

my father in law wanted to get my 14.5 year old a irginity ring and make her promise not to have sex till she was 18.....there is no religious view inthis, just that he wanted her to promise not to have sex.....im still confused by this,
i was totally against this.
heres the thing: i have talked to my kids about sex...about waiting till marriage, about how you cant go back and undo the first time,how it should be with someone you love and all that. i have also talked to them about condoms, birth control and waiting till they are ready to be a parent...becasue condoms break, and pills fail and in the end, you HAVE to be able to be responsible for your choices.
she (daughter) could have easily taken the ring, made a promise, but it would have no doubt been broken, because she didnt make that choice on her own. she was asked/told to.
the though of my child having sex gives me chills LOLits not something i want to think about, however, i have a responsibility as a parent to inform them completly and totally.
my brother, who is a devout christian, says i am being a hipocrit by teaching both abstence and protection. i told him i though he was na idiot for not informing his kids about all of it.
id rather be a hipocrit than a grandma at 36.
there is no great way to slove the debate of sex education. if parents took a ore actiuve role in it, it may help. but i believe that just telling your child that becasue of a religious view you have they cant have sex till marriage, is just plain irresponsible.
you can not control them once they leave the nest.

"id rather be a hipocrit than a grandma at 36."

My sentiments exactly!
It's called being smart. Not a hypocrite.

I was never pressured to take a virginity pledge, but it was something I chose for myself. I honestly don't remember much about sex ed. I can't even remember talking about birth control at all. As a teen I had many sources available to me. I had my church, which taught abstinence until marriage, and I had school, the internet, friends, etc. as well. If I wanted to have sex, it wouldn't have been hard to figure out where to get protection. It's not like church is the ONLY place to learn about sex after all. I mean seriously - it boggles my mind to think that Christian teens are THAT naive that they don't know Walgreens sells condoms. Please.

Personally, I agree with Ash77 - it's not the school's job to be teaching this at all! Unfortunately parents have dropped the ball when it comes to educating their children. What we're left with is a messy debate about how to educate the masses about something very, very personal. Not good.

Maybe that's the difference... you CHOSE for yourself, many of these teens aren't.

I agree it should be the parents responsibility to teach this stuff, but many of them won't. My parents never taught us about contraception, they just told us not to have sex until we were married! Thankfully we had very good contraception advice as part of our sex ed at school, and anyway, both of us did wait until we were older (although not married) and more mature and responsible at least.

But I do think schools need to teach this stuff, to catch the ones who are not being taught by their parents, and unfortunately the only way to prevent more teen pregnancies and STDs is to teach about contraception, not just abstinence.

I agree our sex education was really good and was done at the same time as when we were all learning of the different effects of hormones on both womens and males reproductive organs, so that made it more than just a squeemish module, as it was about the development of sperm and the fetus and what can go wrong, like miscarriage, eptopic pregnancies etc.
We had sexual health nurses come in every year as well and you would go around different class rooms until you had seen them all, one was contraception, one was period managemant, one was STD's complete with pictures, then one was pregnancy where you learnt what typically happens to a womens body when pregnant. They also dispell certain contraception myths too, such as the pulling out method, then the law and religious beliefs were included too, such as the legal age to have sex and what people of different religions are supposed to follow.

Two of my friends in my form weren't allowed to attend sex education, one had catholic parents, the other one used to get nauseus (I don't know how to spell it), Charlie the catholic girl now has a baby, on her doctors appointment she found out she had three STDs! We had respected her beliefs so she never knew what sex was as her parents never told, we didn't tell her and it was something she didn't wish to know at the time, so when she had sex she knew nothing about how you contract STD's or of anyway to protect herself.
The rest of us however have all been very careful in both choices and actions.

When my mum 'taught' us about sex, it was about a bee and a flower, so I'm very glad I got education other than that!
But like even I have struggled to find important information about different types of contraception, I have the rod and my doctor threw away the booklet it came with when she fitted it, so I thought oh it wont matter I can find it all out on the internet. Wrong! There was virtually no information apart from what its for, where its placed and what hormone it contains. Which wouldn't be sufficient in educating someone about the rod as a form of contraception.

Wow you got taught all that? I don't even remember my sex ed lessons!

Mine only ended like three and a half years ago and I listened to it properly, otherwise it would be in the void like all my French lessons! I don't know if it is a South Kesteven thing but all sex education in schools and the local college is like that. Mr Morgan our biology used to act out date senario's with a dogs squeaky hedgehog and a slipper in sex-ed, probably yet another thing special to South Kesteven.....

Haha bizarre. I remember the lessons we got in year 6, which were mainly about periods etc. And then in high school we had to go round each of the form teachers, one a week. One taught us about sex, one drugs, one stress and I have no idea what the fourth one was. In the sex ed lesson they passed round condoms and... that's all I remember. I think we drew pictures of IUDs etc. And they must have mentioned STDs but I can't remember. And this was under the Warwickshire schools.

And it obviously didn't work because when I was 18 (should have known better, I know), I had unprotected sex and the thought of STDs didn't even enter my head until someone mentioned them, all I was concerned about was getting the morning after pill.
So obviously being taught about sex for one hour in year 9 doesn't work!

I think it's bad though that they never mentioned anything about waiting... I now feel rather strongly about it and shall make sure my kids know all about it. And about STDs! Haha.

The only reason for me the guy either wears a condom for everything or gets tested is because of the gross pictures I was shown of people with STD's that had been left for ages. I don't know if because we were a girls school we didn't have boys being stupid and gross, but we were all really open about asking questions and stuff. That means if you went to a mixed school according to me you can officially blame your naughtyness on boys!

I guess having the nurses every year helped too as it was refreshed so you remember a bit more each time and after the first time it isn't embarrassing anymore, where as it can be in year 7.

I forgot smear, breast and prostate tests/exams, we were all educated about why you need them, where go to have them and how they are carried out, thankfully most of us (girls school) knew we didn't have a prostate gland!

Yeah unfortunately I don't see parents stepping up to the plate anytime soon. I guess my views are a "perfect world" scenario where parents actually do what's best for their children. :P It's kinda sad.

Out of interest, given your own personal views on sex before marriage, what will you tell your children when it comes to sex? Will you tell them about contraception as well as encouraging them to wait? (Not trying to start any arguments, I'm just genuinely interested :))

Well, again going with my "perfect world" scenario (which I recognize as hopeful at best), my husband and I know that our own personal testimony about sex and marriage will have some form of influence in our children's lives - at the appropriate age of course. In a truly family-centered home, parents tend to be the primary influence over a child's life, and I think it should be that way! (Regardless of what you believe, parents have a right and a responsibility to instill what they believe to be good morals in a child's life.) Anyway, we think it's cool that our kids will have parents who have "been there" when it comes to the pressures of sex and actually waited until marriage to have sex. From a woman's perspective, I have a LOT to share with my daughter(s) some day. Sex is a very real issue and a lot of moms can't really say more than "Don't do it, because I did and I regret it." I'm happy to be an example in that way.

At the same time, our kids will know what condoms are, how the pill works, etc. Odds are pretty good that Shannon and I will have a large family because we don't use birth control anyway, so what we believe about birth control (particularly hormonal methods) will probably be openly discussed. It's very possible to KNOW about birth control without condoning it, which was the case for me growing up. I suppose the bottom line is this: if our kids choose to have sex before marriage, I will love them regardless. However, it won't be supported by us and we're definitely not going to knowingly let it happen in our home if they are underage. I'm barely a mom yet and my perspectives will change over time. However, I think this approach is a good one when it comes to balancing faith and the realities of an imperfect world.

I think that's a good answer.

My sister and I are proof that a parents personal testimony (my parents didn't have sex before marriage) is not necessarily enough. Although my parents probably did play a part in us both waiting until we were in relationships where we were in love. Neither of us have ever believed in casual sex. Still, we didn't wait for marriage either (and my sister was only 17 when she lost her virginity, although that is legal here, where the age of consent is 16).

So I think informing kids of your own beliefs, while also telling them how to be safe is the right way to do it. You're going to be a very good mother.

Aww, well thank you. :) I didn't know the legal age of consent was 16 where you live. Interesting. I wonder why Americans are so hung up on age 18?

I thought it depended on state. Is it 18 in every state?

no, you're right, Alison- it does depend on the state. I am pretty sure it's still 16 in Alabama.

The age is 13 in Spain! You know what I don't understand, I see people on here under 16, American, married, with child/ren to men in their twenties, hmm here was me thinking there was a special name for men like that.

let me just say: "no fucking duh" on behalf of the planet.