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Erinswe's Diary
by Erinswe

I'm back, after lots of years, in need of a place to write

05/18/2019

It's about 9 years since I last wrote here (I can't even remember my last diary) but I've never forgotten this page. Right now I'm going through a big thing in my life and I really need somewhere to write about it. 

About two months ago my boss noticed that I've been stressed over my work for over a year. She asked me if I wanted to talk to a psychologist about it, and I thought it would be a good idea. It was a good idea, but it has really turned my life upside down. Only a week after my first appointment I got told to go home because I broke down at work. I was then off on sick leave for about a month, got pills to help me and appointments with my psychologist. Now I've been back at work for two weeks on 50%, with no pressaure from my boss, just trying to adjust. One thing I've noticed is that I'm so different now. I forget things, I don't know the answers to simple questions and I get so tired. Appearantly the pills worked to well on me so it interfered with my therapy, so I only took them for a week ^^ 

Today, on the other hand, I've been so ... I wouln't say energized, but I haven't been able to relax. Lots of thoughts have been running through my head, my pulse have been over the tops, I've wanted to do lots of things at the same time (because I've felt that I need to do them) and I haven't been hungry at all today. The only thing that can calm me down a bit is playing WoW, so I can focus on that. I have this feeling sometimes but I've always thought it was normal, until now when I've finally begun to speak to someone about my stress that I've had as long as I can remember. I can now see that this, along with a lot of other things that I've never thought about, probably is related to stress. 

Okey, now I've been able to put some of it down in writing, which is nice as writing is a big part of my life Now I'll get back to playing WoW for a while  

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