Toooo Much Marrige

the hard thing about relationships is that both people have to want the same thing at the same time, and you're right.. i think that at different times in the relationship one or both people want different things and it doesn't work.

that and it's really hard and both people have to be willing to work at it.

hoping that you do find an exception.

the best deception

I agree. Love, like life all pretty much revolves around timing and luck. I used to have a little faith in fate but no so much anymore. I appreciate your kindness. If more people were willing to show compassion to strangers the world would be a better place.

you're welcome. i should probably mention that i am a social worker! haha

fate is a crazy thing... it's so overwhelming to think that something as simple as stopping or not stopping for coffee could be the difference between meeting someone or not but i guess that fate would say if it is meant to be the person will cross your path no matter what.

the best deception

Yeah, I figure most things happen as they are meant to and while I think we control most aspects of our lives and how we move through the world not all things are up to us. So I guess in a way I half believe In faith. I don't really think you can purposely hunt down true love, it's one of those things that just happens.

I watched my parents' marriage fall apart and come back together stronger than ever after my dad cheated. My mom's parents divorced after 40 years of marriage, and they're both happier with other people. My youngest brother is engaged and living with his fiancee in Texas, and even though it's difficult, they're making it work.
My middle brother, three years younger than me, was in a rough relationship, and he killed himself this last August.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months, and are happy and in love.
You can't base your relationship on what other relationships are like. Not every couple breaks up. Case in point? My dad's parents. They were together until the day my grandmother died in May of last year. My grandfather is still very much in love with his late wife, and they were married for 56 years.
Just trust that when it happens for you, it happens. If you break up, you break up. Not the end of the world. If it lasts, it lasts.

Your first couple sentences sort of prove my point. Your parents relationship may have gotten stronger but your dad still cheated. Your grandparents got divorced after 40 years. Which also proves my point. After so long with someone it gets old.

"And everyone breaks up. Eventually. Maybe not in 5 years or 20."
In their case it was 40.

I base my opinion on 28 years of life, what I have experienced and what I've read and heard from people. So yeah, maybe it is based on other relationships. But all opinions have to be based on something. And while I agree not all relationships are the same, at the base level they are very similar. All human relationships not just marriage or romantic relationships.

I didn't say people can't be happy together. I'm saying from the people I have known and the things I've learned about humans is that we don't STAY happy forever. Just check out divorce statistics in the US.

I also said there are exceptions to this. Some people can and do stay together until they die.

I DO have hope that one day I will be able to find someone who can put up with all my little ticks and quirks and I theirs for 50 plus years. But unconditional love is not something people are capable of.

My whole point was: The majority of marriages fail. Wether divorce is involved or not

Maybe I have sort of contradicted myself a little but my feelings about it are conflicting.

to be honest, i am actually afraid to get married just because it might end in divorce. and i do not ever want that. very depressing. my parents have been married strong for 30+ years. but i have seen what divorce does to people and their children. it sounds too painful. so, yeah. depressing. i would rather remain single and have flings until i am ready for a relationship - and perhaps meet the right one. only time and life will tell. =] until then. . .just gotta keep living and enjoying what life has to offer.May the odds be ever in your favour.

You have some very good points and you are right, some people do stay together forever and no one cheats.

I'm like you n that I'm not married, never been married, don't care if I ever get married. Only I'm 30 years older and still feel the same and I don't think twice about reading someone who is or isn't. Been around it so long, seen so many break up, get together, bounce around. I'm very content being single, not just content, happy. I enjoy the loved ones around me, friends and family, I love the life I have and the things I get to do.

You know?

Oh yeah for sure. It's good that you've gotten to a pleasant place with your life and situation, a lot of people never get there. Either that, they can never just BE happy with what they have and always fight and struggle to gain more. That goes for everything, way beyond relationships. I suppose I sort of fit into that category right now, only difference is I realize it.

Same here, I'm not going to judge or think any differently about a person married or not and while I don't care if I'm ever actually "married" (because to me it's really just a piece of paper and some legal benefits) I would still like the emotional connection that comes along with that sort of bond. I don't know, life's a crazy game.

I really just hope I'm as content later in life as you seem to be.

I hope you find contentment as well, no matter how it comes. Life is a crazy ride and we only get one trip through it. I've had some fantastic times, had a lot of emotional support and connections and some heartbreak obviously. It's a roller coaster but (for me) the older I got the dips in the coaster don't seem quite as low.

I had a great teacher in my father, always trying to find the positive in everything and show love, be good to people. Although growing up he seemed so mean at times, I couldn't get my way, hahaha