Fuck... The last two days have been very very hard. The depression and loneliness is almost to much to deal with. Every little thing is a trigger for it. All the things I enjoy... We enjoyed. Even the things we didn't exactly enjoy... But shared kills me. Stupid shit... Like a BC Powder wrapper I saw earlier brought me to tears.
I know that prob seems silly to most people. But I find a connection in the smallest of things.
I can't stop my brain... Ive never been able to. I continuously go back to all of the all nighters of just laying in the dark talking. Ive never been with someone that i could talk to like that non stop until we just passed out. Renting more red box movies than we could watch. The list goes on and on.
I felt closer to this girl than I've felt to anyone in my entire life. And we were only together for a month. ONE MONTH. But in that month we shared years worth of feelings, and emotions. Two weeks straight we hardly slept at all. We never ran out of things to say.
This is so hard... So fucking hard. I would do anything in the WORLD to get her back. And I would do anything in the world for her.. I wish she would see that... Wish she wouldn't have just dropped me like what we had was nothing.
Not sure if I'm gonna be able to handle this. And if I do... I'm not sure how. |
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