So after I broke the news to B she quietly turned and walked away. I stood there on the sidewalk just feeling like a total loser. It just came out, my mind told me to end things but my heart didnt wanna ever let go. Worse part is I could hear B start to cry as she walked away and then just ended me right then and there. I really felt bad but I didnt want to chase her, apologize or talk about it and make things worse. I just wanted a clean cut but I didnt think it was going to hurt so much.
I went back into the aparment and of course, there was Ali sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. I sat down on the couch and she knew right away something was wrong. I told Ali everything and I was choking back my tears the whole time. Ali was super supportive and listened to me pour my heart out. It was obvious I made an impulse decision. I just jumped ship before the seas got rough. Anyway, I went to bed early that night and didnt sleep much. I heard Ali leave the apartment in the evening and I finally felt like I could just relax a bit. I feel asleep real fast and then around 3am I heard the door slam and I knew Ali was home.
Ali came into my room, I asked her what she was doing and she just asked if I was okay.? I told her yea, I just needed some sleep and a little time to let things sink in. She said she was glad to hear that and she left my room. The next few days were pure hell, I had this weight on my shoulders for days. I felt so horrible for dropping B, I should have never done it and I wish I wouldnt have let Ali get in my damn head. I finally reached out to B after 3 days and told her I really wanted to see her and just talk through some things. She agreed and invited me to spend the night at her apartment, yea, she said just plan on spending the night.
I stayed level headed though cause I knew there was no way I was just going to jump back into her life. Things are never that easy. So that night I told Ali I was going to see B and Ali got a little upset at me about the whole deal and I was like, what the hell is your problem?? Ali just turned and walked away so I was like, WTF is your problem right now? I shook it off and drove over to see B. So I knocked on B's door and she greeted me with a big smile and a hug and I thought ok, maybe this wont be so bad.?
There really wasnt anything awkward at all, I helped her hang a few pictures that she had bought and we had a glass of wine. I vented, she vented and we cleared the air. After all that, B and I decided that yea, maybe we were just better off being friends right now. She was going through some personal stuff and I was super busy with work. It just wasnt the right time. We mutually agreed to part ways but the pain was still real. I was pretty sad about the whole deal. Did I still spend the night?? Yep, I sure did....except I slept on the couch in the living room and I left early the next morning before B got up...
..I never saw B again after that night..
..to be continued..