B came back from vacation happy to see me and I was happy to see her. We got back into a routine but at this point, summer was just about over and you could sense that everyone had that sad feeling in the pit of their stomach about summer coming to an end and for a lot of my friends at the time, that meant going back to classes and working a part time schedule. So, as a group, we decided we would take a beach trip and have one last farewell to the summer. As luck would have it, our good friend J had a beach house down on the coast and his family was cool with us staying in it for a few days.
So here we are, at the beach, having a blast and things couldnt have been better. On the second night though we were all in the house playing card games and enjoying some beverages but B had disappeared. I went out back on the patio and there she was, just sitting on the dock all by herself staring out into the channel. So I walked down quietly and as I got closer I could hear her crying. I sat down next to her and didnt say anything, she just slumped over onto my shoulder and balled her eyes out. After a good cry session she just apologized and said that she has some things that she needs to work on to get her life to a place that she was happy with. Immediately I was taken back to all the things that Ali had planted in my brain and I thought, well, here we go, maybe Ali was right about all this and it was just a matter of time before all this came to light.
B and I sat down on the dock but didnt say much, I let her get it all out. I just told her that I would always be there for her and honestly, sometimes we all need to just get shit off our chest and I let her do that. It was a rough night, its playing out exactly like Ali had said it would. Then I started to wonder if Ali had been talking shit about me behind my back to B just to get us to break up.? A lot of thoughts consumed my mind those days prior to the beach trip. I became my own worst enemy with the thoughts I carried around with me everyday. B was busy with work, I was busy, a lot of our friends were back in class for the semester, things started to fall apart a bit.
I finally caved one night, B was over and I just started to feel this insane distance between us and I couldnt figure out why it was like this. We hung out the entire evening and it was quiet between us but not really awkward. When I walked her outside that night, I did the most dick move you could ever do and blindsided her by telling her I didnt think we should see each other anymore. She never saw it coming, I never thought I would just blurt it out either. I was shaking after I said it and that should have been a sign I was doing the wrong thing at that moment in time...
..to be continued..