So yea, it was awkward, it was unexpected and I hated the way it was going. I started to have a ton of regret for moving in with Ali. Once she started bringing guys home, it was the end of the line. I never felt comfortable seeing her walk in with some random guy. I wondered what the hell she was trying to prove? This went on for a few weeks and I finally caught her on a random night where she was by herself on the couch. I asked her if we could talk and of course, we shared a bottle of wine and chatted the whole evening.
I got a lot off my chest and Ali got nothing out of it. She was clearly not into me at all and could care less that I had any sort of lingering feelings for her. She had been out doing her own thing and I was sitting around every night clinging to an ounce of hope that I could rekindle the friendship into more than just being friends. And much as my heart hurt, I was glad we had the talk and I knew where I stood with her. The only problem was that in the coming days, I started to have really bad panic attacks/anxiety issues. I found myself feeling overwhelmed and dizzy most of the day.
I knew it was all stress related and I needed to take a break. I drove down to the beach that weekend and spent some time on my families boat. I literally just left it in the slip and just spent a couple days sitting, drinking and just thinking. I couldnt really clear my head, I have always lived my life that when I see something I want, I set my mind to it and I always work till I get what I want. Thats worked for me in my career and with relationships as well. Whenever I saw a girl I liked, whether I knew her or not, I made it a point to make her like me and honestly, I always won in the end. Sure the relationships didnt always last but I awlays got the girl. And in terms of my career, I continued to be successful and promoted in my industry, I just refused to accept failure or rejection.
After I got back from the beach Ali told me that her parents were coming into town and they were going to stay in our apartment. I had never met her parents and at this point I was so depressed that things werent working out that I didnt give a shit. Fast forward to the weekend and her parents showed up, they were actually pretty cool to hang out with. They insisted that I had dinner with them so I agreed. Her mom cooked a meal for us and we all sat around and drank tons of wine and honestly, it was a great time. We had a lot of laughs, it was a nice night and it got my mind off track a bit which was nice. So as the night was winding down Ali said she was going to sleep in the living room on the couch and her parents were going to sleep in her bed.
So I helped clean everything up and at this point it was close to midnight and we had all had plenty to drink. I showered and hopped into bed. I was dead asleep when I got woken up by a knock on my door. It wasnt a loud knock either, it was a soft one, so I knew it was Ali. I leaned over opened the door and sure as shit, it was Ali. And of course, she was only wearing an oversized sweatshirt, nothing else. I woke up real quick cause she was looking incredible in the dimmly lit hallway outside my bedroom. I was like whats going on?? She said to me, can I come and sleep in your bed with you??
..to be continued..