So naturally my response to Ali was I needed some time to think about it. She understood that and honestly, thats not what I thought she was going to say to me. I was really shocked thats what she had stopped by to talk to me about. So initally I thought no way in hell will this ever work. Then there was the other half of me that thought, well, if we live together than maybe we can start working on a relationship or at least see if the feelings are still there. See, the problem I have always had in my life is that when it comes to relationships I remain very optomistic and I always hold out hope that things will work out for the best.
Holding onto so much hope has really been a crippling part of my life cause usually I hold on too long and never want to let go and then when things dont work out, its a hard crash that really rips my emotions apart. So, a couple days go by and Ali shows up at the apartment again and basically dragged me out to look at apartments with her. I really didnt want to go, I still wanted to let things soak in a bit and talk to her so more to see what her motives were. I went with her that afternoon and honestly, once we got in her car and started driving, it felt like old times again. The convo flowed, we laughed the entire time, she kept giving me that side eye and stare, the one that always got my heart strings.
Here we go, I was starting to get all sorts of feels again for Ali during our several hours spent together that afternoon. Well, I caved, I told her I would do it and move into an apartment with her. Seperate bedrooms of course but we had already lived together and knew what to expect. Plus, I keep a clean house and Ali was the same, so I didnt have to worry about anything crazy going on. It took a few weeks, but we finally found a 2 bedroom apartment that was close to both of our places of work and it was very nice, price was right and we signed on the dotted line. Sounds like a couple moving into their first place together right? Well, it was awkward to be honest. The first few weeks in the apartment we struggled.
Both of us had the thought that just as friends, we would pick up where we left off, but the truth was, now that we were living together and made the decision, things were different. We pushed hard the first couple weeks to make things work and get back to the way things were. Mind you, we were just trying to reestablish the friendship, nothing more was spoke of or mentioned, we just wanted to have those late night talks and things be chill. But you know, once you cross that line and feelings start getting involved, its hard to hold back and it always changes the dynamic. So for the first couple weeks, it was a struggle, then the following weeks were met with silence and not spending nights in the apartment. I was starting to quickly regret this....
..to be continued..