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Ellie's Diary
by Ellie

previous entry: long time no update...

next entry: Yesterday's appointments.

Sleepy

11/09/2011



It's never ending...



I swear, if it's not one thing it's a million others. Back in Feb., I had pre-cancerous cells removed from my right breast, and was told if I ever encounter a lump again to watch it for a cycle, and if it doesn't go away or starts to grow, to call the doctor so biopsies can be arranged. About a month and a half ago now, I found another lump. So, I have an appointment tomorrow to start the testing process all over again. I'm nervous as all hell, all over again. It's like having my worst fear, be a constant fear in my life. And of all the times of year to have to go bald, this wouldn't be a good one. Fucking winter in Kansas. The lump is now about the size of a golf ball, and I'm producing one sided milk. This doesn't feel like it's setting me up for the best results.

I've been dealing with a lot on the mental healthcare side of business, too. I'm on a lot of medications, but things seem to be evening out for the meantime. I mean, at least I'm not suicidal most days. That's an improvement. I'll take what I can get.

What I REALLY wish I could get, is an afternoon without kids so I could get some serious cleaning done without a tornado following me to undo everything. I want to just deep clean the fuck out of this place, I swear I didn't have this big of a cleaning drive even when I was pregnant and nesting. It really came quite out of the blue.

Anyways...there's my periodic bad blooper entry for the quarter. I really should write more often, it's refreshing.



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previous entry: long time no update...

next entry: Yesterday's appointments.

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Hey lady! How've you been? When did you start writing again? Anyway, sending you best wishes with your tests/results. I'll be thinking of you!

[ceterisparibusStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Been writing off and on for a bit, I'm a god awful blooper though and it's basically just when I'm venting or stressed about something.

[Ellie|0 likes] [|reply]

Hehe same here, I haven't properly written in ages. I do miss my Bloopie friends though!

[ceterisparibusStar|0 likes] [|reply]

That's what brought me back to bloop too...now if only I could get back in the swing of things here, it'd be fine haha

[Ellie|0 likes] [|reply]

of course you're anxious about your tests and results, but it's very uncommon to have breast cancer at your age. cysts are very common, and are benign. best of luck.

[girlsetsfireStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I know it's rare. Trust me, we went over all the numbers when I had pre-cancerous cells removed a few months ago.

[Ellie|0 likes] [|reply]

Definitely thinking of you and your tests!

[xoxo, jes.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

*hugs*

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[.Amber.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I hope your test goes well.

[+& HelloKatie|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: long time no update...

next entry: Yesterday's appointments.

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