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fart jokes are the best
by raen

previous entry: October 28, 2020

next entry: November 20th 2020 (this is a covid rant)

November 28th, 2020


Excuse me 2020, hi, I want to plan my damn wedding. I went ahead and booked a bridal appointment in March. I also booked a bridesmaid dress appointment for the ladies the day after my appointment. Because, why not? Let's live dangerously and make plans! 


Oh, Chris and I are fine now. Communication has been key. So has been spending more time just together. We got a rowing machine to workout more often. It's in our kitchen because for whatever reason our kitchen is massive. We picked out our wedding bands too. Mine was pretty easy; there's a matching one that goes with my engagement ring. Chris ended up picking one that matches pretty close to mine instead of matching it to his watch. That was pretty cool. 


I want to hang out with all my old high school friends. Specifically the ones I was actually close to. I, for the most part, felt separate from my classmates. I've never mastered ability to just mesh with people. I always felt awkward and unable to participate in the niceties of small talk. I still can't do it. I have zero patience for it. Who the hell cares about weather anyway? It's going to happen regardless of how much you complain about it. I also just don't care about small talk. What a waste of time. Just talk to me about what you want to talk about. Or maybe that's why I'm always the quiet one at gatherings....I have no idea what to say to people. I like to listen to conversations, watch the happenings. I talk to Chris. He understands me. His energy matches mine in the ways that it needs to and doesn't in the way that it should as well. No one should be so alike that they're identical. 


Work is still bull shit during Covid times. And people are still treating us like garbage because they're bored? I don't know. I'm over it. Move on with your life, Karen. I can't magically make more Lysol wipes appear, Keith. Christ.

previous entry: October 28, 2020

next entry: November 20th 2020 (this is a covid rant)

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Glad to hear that. Probably wrong that I'm also glad for the reputation implosion, but my interests on that one are clearly one-sided. I'm massively impressed that he caught onto the toxic personality thing, too. I've never been good at that.

No, long distance, among other things that I could write about if I haven't already, in suitably vague terms, made me realize it wasn't a good plan and the feeling was definitely nostalgic. It might have been different if there had been an "I have a second chance at life" attitude after healing, but I can see that's speculation now.

And I did say I would tell you and I didn't; couldn't resolve the feeling of being an asshole and I've found that basically means I remain mum about things indefinitely due to ever adding layers of shame (I left. It's been too long to say anything. Definitely too long. How to explain the long wait. Too much there. Etc.)

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Also, apparently "Converse" doesn't mean it tacks the comment onto the one you wrote on mine, so this will appear out of context.


As far as the high school friend thing, I concur. And I'm not very good with keeping in touch with anyone at all.

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