the shady best friend

The class I started this summer is almost finished.  After going through all that garbage with the professor, it has gotten a little better.  He still seems meh towards me, but this is my last week of the class and I'll be starting my next one this Thursday.  So far I have a B+ and hopefully finishing strong.  I have one more major assignment to do.  I'm hoping to pass that in tomorrow or Wednesday morning! 

I went to Arizona with Marije (my best friend whom I live with).  She had to get her tattoo finished by Anthony Michaels from Ink Master.  She started it in May when she went to NYC tattoo expo.  It was a quick trip, but we had fun for the most part until she got cheating with a married man that she's been seeing since spring.  Holy shit, it's been an awful and crazy ride... Let's go back to the beginning of that shit show...

I'm not even sure if I've talked about this..but I want to start at the very beginning.  Marije got a divorce back in December.  As months went along, I've found out information involving her and her sneaky side, which just baffles me.  I don't want to go into much detail about that, but I think I am realizing how much of a shady homewrecker she has turned out to be.  Anyways... things were fine!  She was dating some guy she met on a dating app for a few weeks and was having a great time.  I knew they would not work out, but she was out having fun and that is all that mattered.  She ended up breaking it off with this guy she was dating for a few weeks.  He started getting a little pushy and weird and wanted to take things to a whole different level.  She just wanted to date and have a good time.  She told me she really broke up with him because how can she date someone and have feelings for someone else.  I said yeah, that makes sense if you've developed strong feelings for someone. I did not really think anything of it, because I would have done the same thing!  I checked in with her a few times and she said she was totally fine and wasn't that upset about breaking things off with this guy she was dating for a few weeks.  

That Friday she wanted to go out to one of our favorite spots.  It was nice out and we did not see our friend Ross play in a while, so it was a perfect evening.  She asked me if I cared if she invited a friend she met at Police Academy.  Of course I did not mind.  I was excited about meeting someone she knew from academy finally.  She was always better friends with males, so her mentioned it was a guy I was not phased.  I met him and he seemed like a nice person.  The three of us had great conversation and I was excited about being out.  It was a long day at work anyway.  I knew he was married and they just had a baby so I was asking how everything with the baby was going.  He showed me a couple of videos and pictures of the baby.  As the night went on...Marije and Anthony became extremly close...like they've been sort of close before.  I became really angry and just hid my feelings about it.  I drove her and of course she drank too much.  I was very tired by 10:30p came and just wanted to go home.  After seeing them be close and he was snuggling her in the chair and kissing her head a few times, I wanted out fast.  I ended up telling her I was going to head home and if Anthony was bringing her home.  She said oh yeah he will bring me home and I just left.  As soon as I got home, I took care of the dogs and just went to bed.  I was so shell shocked about what was happening at the pub.  

The next morning came and I asked her what was up.  She denied everything and I said well you two look offly close for just being friends and he is MARRIED with a BABY.  She was totally oblivious about everything and sad she didn't care.  I've tried talking with her multiple times and she said well he's not happy in his marriage anyway and will probably leave his wife eventually it's not good one bit.  I mentioned to her the whole idea was terrible and what if she gets caught and he gets caught!  She said well it won't be her problem to deal with and she didn't care.  I was floored at her responses.  I still don't understand any of this.  Obviously as months go by she gets stronger feelings for Anthony and quite frankly, he just played her along for the ride.  He was getting his cake and eating it too.  I was at work that Monday and she told me she gave Anthony my phone number.  I was livid about that!  I told her to please never give out my cell number unless you ask my permission because I wanted nothing to do with him or what was going on between them.  Of courwse I got a text message from him explaining to me what was going on between them and how they had feelings for each other and it was not the best timing blah blah blah.  I ripped him a new one and he did not like it.

Marije and Anthony went away to NYC to the tattoo expo during Mother's Day weekend.  He left his wife that weekend to go be with another woman.  I was floored about these plans.  I knew Marije was already going by herself.  She did not invite me anyway because I think she was planning on going with the guy she was dating before she dumped him for a married man.  Konner and I had the house to ourselves that weekend, which was nice.  We went out a few times and would just talk about what the hell is going on!  Marije comes back super late Sunday and Anthony stays the night, which makes no sense because he met her in Massachusettes, so he went out of his way to come over to our house instead of going home to his wife.  A day or two later Marije and I went out and mentioned how Anthony's wife was calling around different hotels to find out where her husband was staying.  She was suspicious about what was going on and calling hotels.  I mentioned that to Marije and I said you two need to stop seeing each other because his wife is suspicious about all of this and you're going to get hurt and it's just wrong about what is happening.  A week after they went to NYC Anthony had a hard conversation and Marije told me that Anthony said they needed to slow down and he needed to fix his marriage and a bunch of other stuff I can't really remember.  Obviously she came home upset and was crying, but said the conversation was good, just hard.  I told her he was never going to leave his wife for her and what was happening needed to stop because it's morally not okay.  Of course she did not listen and was depressed for a few days.  It was hard seeing her like that, but then a part of me did not care because she was putting herself in this shitty situation and saw no wrong in it.  

As weeks went on, they would talk on the phone together all the time and she would meet up with him on his days off or she would go follow him like a puppy when he was on duty.  I even mentioned that she needed to be careful about that because he worked in the same town he lived in and you never know who the both of them could run into.  Everything I said at this point was just pointless it went in one ear and out the other.  She did not care period.  It was sickening seeing them together and it became worse seeing how more involved they were when school was out for the summer. 

End of June came around and she went on her camping trip that should have been cancelled after their conversation about slowing down and letting him see if his marriage was even fixable.  They still went away together.  She knew I was not happy about any of it because I barely spoke to her when she did text me asking me how the babies were doing...meaning our dogs.  I said they were fine and that was it.  Meanwhile she did not care her best friend from up north came down to see her and she blew it off and said she was still going away with Anthony regardless.  When she came back that Wednesday evening I knew something was up.  They were sitting in his truck for about 40 minutes before they came inside.  I was playing video games with a friend at the time because I had some free time.  After he left I thought she fell asleep on on her bed from being tired from her camping trip.  I heard her sniffle a little and I knocked on her door and sat on her bed.  I asked her what was wrong and they had another hard conversation.  Of course she cried and I said more stuff like you can't keep living your life like this and it's not healthy what is going on.  She was upset.. I took her out and she was upset some more and slowly got over it because nothing changed and they were still seeing each other and she was still beign played.  

A couple of weeks go by and it's time for our Arinoza trip.  I really did not want to go together, but I went anwyay because she begged me and did not want to go alone.  Of course being a good friend I went.  I really did not want to go because he always called her and she would just stay on the phone with him even though we would be out or spending time together instead of saying hey I'm out right now, I'll call you when I get home or I'll text you instead.  Just like a week before they went on their camping trip.  Her and I were out getting a couple of drinks and he called drunk at a wedding.  I whipsered c'mon Marije we are out. He heard me and yelled "Ashley shut the fuck up!".  So that was nice.  I would be mortified if Konner spoke to her like that and I would have stuck up for Marije.  She let it happen and didn't mention anything about it.  Sorry, side story...

So I went to bed Friday after adventuring with her.  I was exhausted from flying and having to get up super early.  I woke up Saturday to her talking on the phone.  I thoguht she was talking to Anthony on the phone, but after she got off the phone she mentioned it was her mom in Europe.  She didn't really say much another Anthony, so I did not really think about it.  She wanted to go to Dutch Bros.  After we got there she parked the car and mentioned she may be a little quiet and wanted me to know why...I asked her what was up and she told me early early Saturday morning she got a frantic phone call from Anthony saying not to text him and he would call her when he could.   I asked her what that was about since they talk to each other 24/7 and then she spilt the news about Anthony's wife texting her.  Marije read the text message from his wife and had no idea what to say!  Honestly I was thrilled on the inside and felt good that his wife finally found out.  His wife went through this phone and found a few screen shots of text messages from Marjie and the text message him and I had together when he was trying to "explain" himself to me...like I said before I needed no explanation of what was going on because I did not support either of them and what they were doing was wrong.  I was surprised how well she was taking it during the day, but then it slowly went downhill as the day went on.  It was painful and annoying to deal with while we were gone.  We were out having dinner and she lost it at the table and was bawling her eyes out.  It was terrible.  Eventually I said we should just go back to the Air BnB because she needed to rest after her appointment anyway.  That night we went out for ice cream it was pretty silent.

Sunday morning comes along and I wake up to a text message from Anthony's wife asking me if I would answer a couple of questions.  I was so pissed off waking up to this text message.  I wanted to bust down the door to Marije's bedroom and I did not.  I ended up laying there and thinking if I should talk to her or not.  I called my sister and she probably gave me shitty advice because I ended up answering a couple of questions from Anthony's wife.  She asked a lot, but I lied to her and said I did not know.  The one question I did answer was if they went away together.  I said yes twice  and I tried stopping Marije multiple times.  I felt so guilty for answering that question after.  I was sick to my stomach, but I felt so bad for his wife.  I know I broke girl code or wife code...whatever you want to call it. 

She did find out I talked his wife.  I told her I did and the only thing I told her was they went away together twice.  She was livid at me and said why would you do such a thing.  I said I couldn't handle sitting here with all of this heavy shit on my chest anymore.  I felt so awful for hurting my best friend, but I also felt so terrible for this poor woman who just had a baby with her husband.  Needless to say, Monday morning came and Marije told me Anthony left her and is never coming back and how I broke her trust.  We haven't really spoke a whole lot since everything went down.  Marije was working and then this weekend she was home.  We talked a little bit, but she was definitely crying off and on.  I invited her to my step dads house to go in the hot tub because she kept crying off and on and I felt like she needed to get out of the house.  It was totally awkward and I did not know what to say to her because I just don't feel bad she is going through any of this.  She knew what she was doing was wrong and did not care and kept doing it!  The car ride home was silent and we ended up just going to bed.  

This Saturday morning I ended up sleeping in.  I woke up late and was excited because Konner and I made plans to see each other earlier in the evening unlike our usual because of his job.  She didn't say much to me after I got out of the shower because she was on the phone with her parents and familhy in Europe, so I wanted to give her some space.  She ended up leaving the house and ended up texting me a crazy message about how Anthony put down a deposit for a puppy as an early birthday gift she didn't know about before he left her, so she was heading to a pet store to get some supplies and asked me if Windsor needed anything and asked me what my plans for the day were.  I said well thats big news and I did not have much for plans during the day, but I was busy later in the evening.  I did not mention Konner coming over and I think she was upset when he came over so early.  Konner took a shower after him and I talked for a few minutes in the bedroom.  After I was done getting ready, I told her we were going to head out and all she said was okay.  Throughout the day she was texting me a little more than she had been and asked me if I wanted ice cream and stuff.  I politely declined and didn't really say a whole lot.  I should have tried to say more to her, but I think she knew I was still processing this puppy information she threw onto my plate.  I hate that she said it was going to be a good distraction because she already has a dog who she can barely take care of because of her work schedule and her choosing.  Luckily I'm here anyway because I plan my life around Windsor and take care of him.  

So that's been the crazy drama in my life the past few months... It feels good to get it out, but damn... It's just crazy to process...I'm not sure if our friendship will ever be the same because of this.  I feel like it's my fault too.  I hate feeling like that.