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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
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Pregnancy Question
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28 Mar 2012, 07:55
SoA
Post Count: 252
A friend of mine got his girlfriend pregnant. In the midst of all this drama *rolls eyes* a question has been brought up quite a few times & in my search of google & webmd I have not been able to find an answer to this question. So if anyone can point me in the right direction that would be awesome. I'm not too keen on emailing my doctor about it since it really doesn't pertain to me, beyond being curious, but if I can't find anything I just might.

Anyway the question is "What is the percentage of getting pregnant during your very first time having sex? Does it lessen when you add in a condom?" I know that there's...what is it... 98% chance of not getting pregnant with just a condom, if I remember correctly from my health class back in '00-'01. So I'm curious what the likely hood is that it can happen. ((sorry I know it's kind of obvious I don't trust this girl, but I'm still curious as the how often this happens)). A side not question: How well can a doctor pin-point conception? Is it possible for the doctor to be off by a week?

Thank you for any answers you are able to give me. Like I said, this is purely curiosity on my part. I'm not looking for advice on being pregnancy or what the best thing to do when pregnant cause I'm not pregnant & I got a doctor to talk to if I was LOL. So yeah, thanks again for any help you can give me :)
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28 Mar 2012, 11:49
xanderthebuttmonkey
Post Count: 43
I think you're pretty close with the condom percentage, it's either 98 or 99 percent effective. As for the first time, that doesn't matter at all, doesn't matter how many times you've had sex, pregnancy can happen anytime.

I don't think the conception date guessed by the doctor is terribly accurate, they base it on the menstrual cycle of the woman more than when the baby was actually conceived, if I understand it correctly. The only way to know for sure would be a paternity test.
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28 Mar 2012, 15:13
SoA
Post Count: 252
Oh ok. Yeah I was told its rare to get pregnant off your first time. Not impossible, just rare.

I just found it odd that he put the baby at seven weeks when their first time together puts conception at six. Which, okay yeah, that's only a week difference, it stills just feels off.
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28 Mar 2012, 16:31
Begin~Again
Post Count: 3
see my other comment below. given that a doctor's estimate can be off by a few days (if an ultrasound is done) and sperm can live up to 5 days in a women, it's entirely possible that she got pregnant their first time. if the doctor didn't do an ultrasound and gave her an estimated date based on the start of her last period, then he could be off by more than a few days, which makes it even more possible.
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31 Mar 2012, 02:35
starsmaycollide
Post Count: 408
as explained above, it really just comes down to having sex during a brief fertile time period...it doesn't make a difference how many times it's been done, just when it happens.

you have to remember, in high school they just want to get across the message to not have sex, or else. Technically, it's just not biologically true that it can 'happen any time'. It can only happen a few days out of every month. Of course, most HS girls have no clue when they ovulate, so it's easier to just tell girls not to at all.

as for due dates, they aren't perfect. they are close, but it's reasonable to be a week different.
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31 Mar 2012, 02:39
SoA
Post Count: 252
It's not so much the due date I'm questioning but the conception date or age of the fetus. That was what was making me question her honesty, especially when I've just been told she didn't say anything about her being late until he told her he wanted a break.

That's a good point about what they tell us in high school. I didn't think of it that way.
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2 Apr 2012, 16:04
♥ S ♥
Post Count: 1
The due date is an estimated due date which is directly linked to their estimated time of conception. Your due date is supposed to be 40weeks from the date of conception- and my due date was changed 3 times. When my daughter actually came (2 weeks after my estimated due date, she was actually 43weeks old). It is all just guesses based on the size of the child and the last menstrural cycle.

I didn't tell my ex I was late until he told me we should take a break. Nobody believed I was pregnant either and I didn't WANT to be pregnant.. but I was planning on telling him when I knew for sure.. but I got scared when he said he was leaving so I told him. Now our daughter is 13months old and he left anyways. It IS his daughter but he got a paternity test anyway.

Just because the events didn't happen exactly how anyone would desire doesn't necessarily mean she's a liar.

Also, if her man is leaving her, this is going to be the hardest thing she will ever do in her life. Pregnancy isn't a breeze. Try to remember that when you're questioning her.
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2 Apr 2012, 20:42
SoA
Post Count: 252
Ok, I didn't realize the due date was done that way.

He isn't going to leave her to take care of the baby by herself, they just won't be in a relationship. And what made it hard to believe her was not allowing him to go to the doctors appointment, threatening to get management to make him leave work(even though he hada shift) when he asked her how she was feeling and how the appointment went(she works at the same place as him) after he told her he would not have a shotgun wedding. But she's telling everyone at work she's pregnant & that they are getting married. Stuff like that just makes things seem off. And he's not claiming it isn't his. He's trying to be there & be responsible & she won't let him. That's why I was questioning things.
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3 Apr 2012, 19:47
Meghans Follie
Post Count: 433
due dates are commonly referred to as "EDD" estimated due dates - because unless a woman knows exactly when she conceived - thats all that can be done - is guess. Often during a pregnancy based on several factors (last period, size of the fetus, development of the fetus, pregnancy symptoms etc) that date can be moved around by a few weeks...
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3 Apr 2012, 20:30
SoA
Post Count: 252
That's starting to make sense. I finally got a chance to talk to my mom about it and she was able to explain it a little more for me. I guess what has made it so hard, besides the girls wonky behavior, is that their first was Vday so my thoughts where along the lines of "If she knows roughly the exact day she conceived why is the doctor putting it at a week earlier?" I guess I'm just assuming she telling the doctor everything & since my friend hasn't really been allowed around her, I'm only getting told what he's been somewhat told by her.
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4 Apr 2012, 11:36
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
He's probably just doing it based off her last period. I knew exactly when I conceived my son, and the doc still dated it to my last period. Until I had an ultrasound at around 9 weeks in which I was dated correctly but even then they say to give it a window of a week either side, and it is just that, an estimate.
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28 Mar 2012, 07:56
SoA
Post Count: 252
damn typos **A side note question:....
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28 Mar 2012, 13:40
Transit
Post Count: 1096
The in test failure rate for condoms is around 1% but the real life failure rates of condoms are around 15%.
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28 Mar 2012, 15:14
SoA
Post Count: 252
See you think they would tell you those rates in health class, not the rates they get in testing.
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28 Mar 2012, 16:30
Begin~Again
Post Count: 3
as someone who tracked their cycles and ovulation days in order to increase odds of conceiving i will say 2 things.

one, you are every bit as likely to get pregnant the first time you have sex as you are the thousandth time. and there's really only a 25% chance of getting pregnant in any given month because a woman is only fertile for a couple of days. sperm can live for up to 5 days in a woman (given the right conditions) and so you could get pregnant up to 5 days after you have sex if you ovulate within the few days after. which is why the % is as high as 25% even though your egg only lives a few days after you ovulate.

however, condoms do have a 98% success rate, but only when used properly. also, some people have sex for a few minutes before using a condom and then there's the whole pre-cum issue. pre-cum generally does not carry sperm. the only way it has sperm in it is if a man ejaculates and has sex again before using the bathroom. ejaculate is left in the penis (stuff that didn't shoot out) and isn't rinsed out until he either pees or ejaculates again. so she could have become pregnant with precum given the right conditions.

two, doctors do NOT rely on the woman's menstrual cycle any more to accurately predict due dates. they might do it at your first visit if it's too soon to do an ultrasound. but once an ultrasound is done (usually between 6-8 weeks) they can measure the size of the baby and are usually accurate to within a few days. it's pretty darn accurate.

however, given what we know about how you can actually get pregnant a few days AFTER you have sex, it expands the timeframe.

hope that answers your questions.
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28 Mar 2012, 23:47
SoA
Post Count: 252
It does, thank you. When I kept looking for just the rate/likelihood of it happening nothing was popping up with what I was looking for, so thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge with me :)
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28 Mar 2012, 22:57
KerriBlue
Post Count: 260
Wow...for my health classes back in 2000-2002 they really pushed that whole idea that if you're having sex for the first time...or whatever - you can still get pregnant. It doesn't matter if you haven't had sex before - it doesn't matter if it's the guys first time or the girls first time or both....if your having sex without protection - it can happen. Chances don't increase or decrease.

Which is true. The only thing that will bring down the chances of it happening are by using protection - or by chance the woman isn't fertile at the time of having sex.

Most condom boxes..or health classes... will say that condoms are 98.whatever% safe and whatever, but real life experience has taught me that isn't true. Condoms break very easily especially if they aren't put on properly.

And as I have read quite a few mommy diaries on bloop...i've learnt that conception dates and all those fun dates doctors give you aren't perfect...they can be out a week or two (or three) out. A few diaries I've read - the women have found out toward the 5-6-7th month mark that their doctors have a "new estimated due date" which would be a different conception date to originally thought and blah-blah-blah. Point is, even though doctors have great technology, and doctors have been doing this sort of stuff for ages...it's still, more accurately, an estimate when it comes to conception dates.
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28 Mar 2012, 23:30
SoA
Post Count: 252
Thank you all for your responses. It's so weird because I've heard it's so rare, almost once in a blue moon rare, for a woman to get pregnant during her first sexual encounter & even more rare when you add in a condom. So to see the percentages saying its more possible than I originally thought, it's kinda crazy.

I just thought it was odd that the doctor would still put her at seven weeks when their first time was Valentines Day & their last time was about two weeks ago. Idk, maybe my mistrust of her is getting in the way of me just taking what I'm being told at face value.
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2 Apr 2012, 22:19
one + twins.
Post Count: 10
Due date actually goes from first day of your last period.
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10 Apr 2012, 16:42
brooke !
Post Count: 100
I got pregnant with my oldest daughter the very first time I ever had sex. I was really young though, and not very smart. I figured because it was my first time that nothing will happen. But yeah... kind of ruined sex for me for a loooooong while.
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10 Apr 2012, 20:44
SoA
Post Count: 252
Yeah that's how he feels. His ex put the moves on & he was like "yeah just what I need, two women pregnant by me." Hopefully all turns out okay because I know it would break his heart to find out she lied & he got excited about being a Dad for nothing. I'm just very protective of my friends & so when I see someone trying to control them or use them it just pisses me off.
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11 Apr 2012, 13:10
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
@I
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11 Apr 2012, 21:51
SoA
Post Count: 252
That's a very good point. And because I don't get to see how they are together & all my information is here say I've decided that no matter how I feel or think I just need to be there for him as a friend & keep my opinions & worries to myself. And like I said, I do hope all works out because it would hurt him if this was a lie. Honestly, I hope I'm wrong & that they are able to at least work it out to co-parent if they can't work their relationship out. That way the baby had two parents that are in it's life & aren't fighting all the time.
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11 Apr 2012, 21:57
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
@ IheartAlanRickMan -- I'm glad you got the real reply. I have no idea why, but it's only showing up as an "@" symbol for me. I was pretty darn frustrated. I hope they can co parent also :)
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12 Apr 2012, 03:03
SoA
Post Count: 252
@*-.Stephanie.-* -- yes thankfully it showed fully in the notification I got in my messages. I do to. He knows he's really young to be a Dad at 21 but he's more than ready to step up to plate, so I'm very proud of him & I hope she realizes that she's very lucky to have someone that wants to do this with her & not leave her holding the bag so to speak.
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