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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
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New Poll: Love vs. Loveless Marriage
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27 Mar 2011, 13:42
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
Now, I probably shouldn't be starting up a thread but the forum needs a little love. It's about the new poll actually in which we, as Bloopers speak our minds! Or ...click a button that fits to the most appropriate personal opinion. Ha-HA! Either way, it made me ponder a bit, which is a most dangerous past-time.

To have a marriage, full of love but no friction between the sheets (or well, any other available surface one would be intimate) in one corner!
To have a marriage, full of lusty goodness but no emotional attachment (just every well, other attachment) in the other.

I chuckled to myself when I saw people had voted for the second. This is my broad question really: If you're not in love with the person but the sex is good, is that really enough? Couldn't you just divorce the chap/lass/inanimate object and go have intimate moments with others unattached? What would the selling points me of being in a loveless marriage if it's just the sex being fabulous (we're assuming that sex is the only good thing you're having)? What are your thoughts on this lovely poll?
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29 Mar 2011, 01:07
Bellatrix Lestrange
Post Count: 234
Lusty goodness (;
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27 Mar 2011, 17:14
an empty frame.
Post Count: 82
I had to think twice about this one, because sex is very important to me whether I'm in a relationship or not. But I've had great sex with people I'm not in love with before, and I've had great non-sexual moments with people I've been in love with as well. The latter is the one that fills my heart with the greatest joy, so I chose the first option.
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27 Mar 2011, 18:57
Jessica [Private]
Post Count: 1751
I chose the first option :)

While obviously a marriage full of sex would be amazing, I couldn't be in a relationship that was nothing BUT sex. I'd need to have some sort of emotional connection with someone to be legitimately happy in the long run. Sex isn't something I NEED to live by. I'd be quite content with intimate snuggles :)

Besides, the way I look at it - there are other ways to satisfy those urges ;)
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27 Mar 2011, 19:01
love♥nik
Post Count: 1010
I rly want the 4 ppl who voted for sex and no love to come out of the woodwork. xD I'd really love to hear why tbqh.
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27 Mar 2011, 19:28
Estella
Post Count: 1779
I imagine the people voting for sex over love are blokes! And of course, some people give silly answers just for the sake of it!

On the other hand, a loveless marriage doesn't necessarily mean misery. Two people could be good friends, really enjoy each other's company, but not actually be in love with each other. To have that, and brilliant sex, might be considered quite a good deal to someone for whom sex is a big deal.

I wrote the poll - out of curiosity! I had a feeling most people would vote for love over sex, because the site is largely female. I'm not sure if it would be the same in a largely male site, but who knows.
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28 Mar 2011, 19:13
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
I do agree with the friends betrothed thing. There are certain circumstances where that'll happen and you can enjoy one another. So many wedding vows along the lines "You're my best friend" have clearly been brought into a clearer light. ;D Then again, many will look at that and go "LOVE and marriage" because that's the common Western concept of what marriage is. We won't get into how often that leads people astray when they no longer feel that passionate love that they felt before marrying whomever they chose.
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27 Mar 2011, 21:46
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
This was easy for me, because in a way, my sexual desires are put on the back burner for my marriage. I quit denying my bisexuality since getting with my husband, and I know if we were to split up I would be with a woman, because I am much more into women then men, but my husband stole my heart, and I always will be in love with him.

The sex with him is pretty amazing in itself and I love him, so its a win win for me..
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27 Mar 2011, 22:47
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
Whilst I think its good to have a healthy sexual relationship, I certainly wouldn't base a marriage on it. So I choose the first option.
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28 Mar 2011, 00:26
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I said the great sex because I've had a relationship like that before and it was fine. I need my sex ;D
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28 Mar 2011, 19:04
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
Well. You know. My pillow thinks that I'm a great kisser AND I have a philosophical mind. ;D
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28 Mar 2011, 01:25
holyemoly.
Post Count: 7
I honestly had to think about which one I wanted to choose, because currently I'm in a sexless marriage (God, I miss sex), but I THINK I could be happy if we were madly in love. I don't really have either option, sadly. So I chose love over sex. I would LOVE to have both. ;D
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28 Mar 2011, 19:02
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
No! You shall not have your cake and eat it, too. ;D

Of course I say that in jest. I think your situation is tough because you're not getting either. Clearly there needs to be another option for those in your situation - which ...oddly enough doesn't seem all that uncommon, which is sad! The least you should have is one or the other. At least to be able to be in love with the lad/lass/who honestly cares that you're tied to. Good luck with your predicament though, truly. D:
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29 Mar 2011, 00:58
Oprah Noodlemantra
Post Count: 300
I voted for the second option, and it's actually quite a simple reason: sex is easier than love.
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29 Mar 2011, 01:06
kein mitleid
Post Count: 592
10 times out of 10, when a guy says "I love you" during sex, what he means is "I love this."
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30 Mar 2011, 06:35
.love.struck.
Post Count: 492
Sex does play a big role in relationships but it certainly isn't doesn't make a marriage work. Marriage is a lot more work than it seems. You don't see this until you get married.
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1 Apr 2011, 16:23
Makayla
Post Count: 751
I voted for the second option simply because how can you love your spouse if they can't make love to you? Either way you are not going to have love, so might as well have great sex without love then to fall out of love with someone who can't please you? Maybe I'm the only woman who will admit this but sexual attraction plays a major role in intimate relationships. If you don't have that sexual connection with your spouse then what's the difference between them and just a friend that you love?
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