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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Page:  1 
Communication Blunders
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26 Oct 2010, 13:27
minor_catastrophe
Post Count: 123
In my Communications class, we have to answer this, and I thought it would be interesting to see what y'all have to say.

"We all communicate on a daily basis in multiple forms (verbally, non-verbally (body language), email, phone calls, texting, etc...). For something that we all do so frequently, why do you think communicating effectively is so difficult? Please share a situation that you have been involved in, or witnessed, that was a result of poor communication. This could have resulted in a very comical situation, or a very unpleasant situation. What was the communication barrier? "

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27 Oct 2010, 02:23
Aspiring Boxer
Post Count: 169
For me, communication is the hardest obstacle I have to overcome. Obviously, it's easy over the internet or through texting but in person, it is very hard because I am deaf so there is a communication barrier between myself and most of the world (not including those that know sign language).

Not sure if that counts in your communications class but it's something to think about.

Also, ADD/ADHD people might have issues with communication because of their very short attention span. They aren't being rude on purpose, they just have very short attention span and sometimes their minds wander in the middle of a conversation without them realizing it.

I don't have a lot of time to actually sit down at the computer and type but I will come back to this later.
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27 Oct 2010, 19:27
minor_catastrophe
Post Count: 123
@Aspiring Boxer My best friend is ADHD and I always get so frustrated at her when she's not paying attention. Kinda hard to remember she's not doing it on purpose, at least most of the time lol.
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30 Oct 2010, 01:27
Makayla
Post Count: 751
I have ADD & I swear I can be looking directly in someone's eyes while they are talking to me and I won't do it on purpose but after about 20 secs of them talking I realize I am focusing on something else on their face & didn't hear anything they said. It's frustrating for me & the people who are trying to talk to me.
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30 Oct 2010, 07:54
Estella
Post Count: 1779
This happens with Aspergers too, in a sort of different way. I have difficulty with auditory processing, and can only focus on one thing at a time. So I have to focus all my attention quite intently when someone is talking, in order to understand what they're saying. If I lose focus, which easily happens when I'm tired, then I often have to ask them to repeat.

Also, for similar distraction reasons to yours, and again difficulty with multi-tasking, it's a lot easier if I don't look at someone's face when they are talking, especially not the eyes, because then I easily lose track of what they are saying. And society tends to see lack of eye contact as 'shiftiness', so that can cause a communication barrier.

I think a big communication barrier in general is when people assume others operate in the same way as they do, and they interpret what you do/say as meaning what it would mean if they did/said it. This can be a result of cultural differences, or communication differences/disabilities, or simply personality differences and differences in experience. If you communicate in a way that is not the norm in a certain group, you are likely to be misinterpreted, and judgements are quickly made.

So people make assumptions, and forget to think of a variety of possible reasons for a person's behaviour. Also, a lot of people seem to have difficulty accepting a variety of communication styles - they can be quite insular and think theirs is the best way and the only way, and that everyone should be like them! So people's attitudes can be a communication barrier, because communication is always two-sided, and both sides have a responsibility to try to communicate their message effectively to the other person, and to try to understand the other person.
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30 Oct 2010, 16:10
canceroustears
Post Count: 210
@Makayla - I agree! I have that also and it gets frustrating for me.
I can go with a minute of listening, but if the person seems to be droning on and on, it takes me about 4 minutes before my mind shuts them off, and I end up staring at them.
It's kinda hard for me to explain, but you said it perfectly!
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26 Oct 2010, 16:00
canceroustears
Post Count: 210
I think sometimes people aren't able to communicate effectively, because they don't want to listen.
95% of every time I witness someone talking to another or in a group, the person who is talking is interrupted by another person, because they either have a story to tell of their own and want to get it out, or they don't agree with the person who was speaking and want to correct them.
They never really listened to the story or the point the person who was talking was trying to make, since they were already thinking in their mind about what they want to say.
Then this causes conflict because the person who interrupted only heard parts of the story, and not the whole thing.

Good question!
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26 Oct 2010, 17:30
minor_catastrophe
Post Count: 123
Completely agree. People are always too worried abt what they're gonna say next. A lot of people I know are like that. It drives me crazy! Lol
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26 Oct 2010, 18:13
canceroustears
Post Count: 210
It drives me crazy too lol.
I always interrupt myself to tell the person who interrupted me "I was talking." then continue on.
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30 Oct 2010, 08:03
Estella
Post Count: 1779
With regard to interruptions, some people have difficulty with timing - such as people with dyspraxia, and people with Aspergers. Happens to me all the time - I will either interrupt or say nothing, because I have difficulty knowing when a person has finished, and difficulty focusing on both what I'm going to say and on what they are saying, and the exact time at which I should say my part.

I think some interruptions are natural in a group though - because with a group, the needs of the group outweigh those of each individual, and so if one person keeps talking and talking, unless it's something serious where the group is focused on that person, then people will get bored and the group will disintegrate. So a bit of interrupting keeps the tempo going. But at the same time, there are always people who love the sound of their own voice and will try to dominate the conversation - but then, this is a communication difficulty they have, and in the long run it could prevent people wanting to talk to them.
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30 Oct 2010, 16:07
canceroustears
Post Count: 210
@la rana - I could completely understand if someone had something like Aspergers. I would not have a problem with someone who interrupts, because of who they are.
I guess I was talking about the people in my family (none of them have anything like Aspergers; they just love to talk and don't like to listen.) but if I knew someone well enough to know that they had something like Aspergers, then I would know to expect something like that to happen, and wouldn't feel as though the person was being rude. (:

I've never heard of dyspraxia. I'm going to go look up information about it.
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27 Oct 2010, 01:49
Aubrey;
Post Count: 377
I work with somebody who will often walk off or turn away when you're speaking with her, as though she thinks you're finished when you're not. That bugs the crap out of me, but I don't think she realizes how rude she is being.
Another problem - aside from people not listening - could be that people could misunderstand each other, but neither realizes that they are being misunderstood, and they're both having two different conversations without realizing it.
Okay, that was random, sorry!
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27 Oct 2010, 12:04
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
my current communication problem is massive amounts of distance. my other half is in europe and is nine hours behind my time. trying to work out when we can talk, and me not getting frustrated when he can reply right away are pretty annoying obstacles right now.
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27 Oct 2010, 19:24
minor_catastrophe
Post Count: 123
Wow. I couldn't do that. Kudos to you!
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28 Oct 2010, 11:48
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
@minor_catastrophe yeah i'm not loving it. it doesn't help he's staying with his sister, who does nothing but keep him out all day or do things very loudly when we do talk. she's a whore.
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