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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
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Active Duty Women Getting Pregnant.. Ok or not?
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13 Jul 2010, 19:23
Lacey
Post Count: 144
So I am wondering what all you bloopies think about active duty women in the military getting pregnant? I ran across a thread on another forum where one woman had said that she doesnt believe it is ok because when you become a part of the military you forfeit your right to becoming a parent while you are inlisted because its a 24/7 job. How do you all feel?

Personally, I think that as long as the women aren't intentionally getting pregnant to avoid deployment, and they have set plans for future child if a deployment comes up then there is nothing wrong than a military woman wanting to be a mother. Yes, active duty military is a full time job, but most men/women who arent on deployments, have a 9-5 job just like civilions! I dont think its fair to tell a women who is of child baring age they can't concieve because they are in the military. Saying something like 'you cant have a child because its a 24/7 job and you have a 24/7 job already' is really ignorant, thats like telling people they can't have another kid because they already have one that takes up there time!

Pleanty of full time working mom's have kids (myself included).
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13 Jul 2010, 19:24
Lacey
Post Count: 144
OH! I forgot to mention DADS in the military!!! Does that mean that active duty MEN can't have kids either because they might not be there to help the mother?
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13 Jul 2010, 21:57
KerriBlue
Post Count: 260
All I know is - Australia had a problem with Women getting pregnant while they were on duty. They had to be sent home from the Middle East because they had - obviously (unless that whole immaculate conception comes into play and arguable how long ago was that even an issue) been having sexual relations while they were over there. Fraternisation is apparently banned while on operations, so in the end it goes both ways - women aren't allowed to have happy happy fun time which could result in pregnancy and men aren't allowed happy happy fun which could lead to pregnancy either.

I think if a woman wants to get pregnant before she leaves, fine. If she wants to get pregnant after she gets back, fine. But I mean, if it's a rule not to get pregnant while on operations - then...you abide by the rules?

It just reminds me...I was about to say, You can't take away a womans right to get pregnant - however there are some circumstances where it's ill-advise. For a brief example, I was ...."recommended" to go on a medication...but in order to go on that medication, I'd have to sign a legal document to not get pregnant for an entire year whilst on the medication. So how does this apply? Well, I would have been aware of the rules, I was made aware of the consequences, I would have been agreeing to those terms, therefore I'd agree to abide by the rules. Which is what these women are doing, they know the rules before they go, they know what they are signing up for, shouldnt that mean sticking to the plan?

So Happy Happy Fun Time before operations - Yes. Happy Happy Fun Time after operations - Even better. Happy Happy Fun Times while ON operations - probably not wise.
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13 Jul 2010, 22:03
Lacey
Post Count: 144
I dont think its right for them to get pregnant while deployed deffinetly NOT. And its not a reason to get out of the military, but I am saying that if a woman who is stationed at home wants to have a baby, I think there is no reason she shouldnt be able to!

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13 Jul 2010, 23:10
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
If she's not going to be deployed then I think it's fine. The only thing I can foresee being a problem is this - sometimes deployment is random and short notice. Not sure how that would work out for them. =\

The other thing, some people make military their CAREER, but I don't think it should mean they forfeit the right to have a child :)
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14 Jul 2010, 00:52
Lacey
Post Count: 144
I dont think so either... There ARE certain people I would like to NOT see have children but we wont go into that ;)
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14 Jul 2010, 12:44
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
Oh yeah, that's a whole other story ;)
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14 Jul 2010, 17:07
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
@Kerri♥Blue

if you had gotten pregnant on your medication, that would be a stupid thing as I presume it would have resulted in a child that was disabled/deformed. That's not about rules, that's about safety.
Getting pregnant in the military isn't going to affect your child at all.
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14 Jul 2010, 20:52
.November.Butterfly.
Post Count: 210
but it would affect the child if you have to be deployed and leave your child behind? could that happen? i remember on a forum i was on both parents were in the military and both deployed and they had to fight to have one parent stay behind for the baby :( it was horrible! I really believe that kids need their parents or at least some kind of stability one way or another.
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14 Jul 2010, 23:26
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
That's so very retarded. You would have thought they would have measures in place to stop such things happening.

Oh, I forgot. It's the military. They possess no sense.
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16 Jul 2010, 03:30
Meghans Follie
Post Count: 433
All active duty (US military) must have a family care plan - which states who becomes your child's guardian during your deployment.
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18 Jul 2010, 22:16
~Just the 3 of Us~
Post Count: 98
I was under the impression that if both parents are in the military, they both can't be deployed at the same time. I could be wrong though.
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19 Jul 2010, 09:12
Jessica [Private]
Post Count: 1751
@Mommy Bunny

I saw a couple on TV once where they had like six kids. more than four, I know that. One was still a baby.
Both the parents got deployed and the grandma had to take care of all the kids.

I don't know how common it is, or if it's still allowed, but I know it has happened.
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25 Jul 2010, 18:04
J♥me
Post Count: 38
As far as I know, there's nothing prohibiting it. I'm in the Air Force, and I know if they CAN, they'll try to send someone else on a deployment if that's the case, but often times it's just not an option. I've seen both parents deployed at the same time, infact, I was deployed with a couple who had a son staying with their parents. I've seen cases where the woman was tasked to deploy while her husband was deployed, and she started her paperwork to get out of the military. I've seen cases where both parents were not allowed to join the military because they had a child, but then I've also seen single mothers join.
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30 Jul 2010, 06:11
DivaAshley
Post Count: 242
Most of the time parents are not deployed together. They Army, from what I've seen, tries really hard to make sure at least one parent is state-side. However, it does happen, and it's sad. The kids get shuffled around from home, to relatives. I've had several students who have had Mom and Dad's deployments overlap, as well. One of my students' mother deployed in January, then Dad deployed in June. So, he moved to another state to live with grandparents, then came back again in January when Mom came home. Then, a year later, it will happen again. It's tough!

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20 Jul 2010, 07:02
KerriBlue
Post Count: 260
@ Acid Fairy

Thanks for your reply..I was more drawing attention to the fact that people are given rules/guidelines/warnings before partaking in a lot of things in life.
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14 Jul 2010, 01:05
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Unless there's something in the rules saying that you forfeit the right to become a parent while on active duty, then I don't think anyone has a right to say that you forfeit the right to do so.
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14 Jul 2010, 05:45
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
My sister got pregnant on active duty, it wasnt planned and the military gave her the option of honorable discharge or to stay in, she got out, but she desperately wants to go back, unfortunately the dad doesnt want her to go back so it was a huge sacrifice for her.
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14 Jul 2010, 23:31
Poetic Justice
Post Count: 229
My boyfriend was in the Navy for 4 years and said that a woman on his ship got pregnant just to avoid deployment. I don't believe that that is right. But if it happens accidentally, then of course she should have the right to do so, just as men do. The only problem is that that is a moral question- How do you know when it 'just happened' or when she's doing it as an excuse to get out?
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31 Jul 2010, 08:32
kitty_cario
Post Count: 1
By the way im 12 years old, so i think... i like babies. Have more if you want. Cute cute ... :)
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14 Jul 2010, 02:20
F C U K
Post Count: 134
I think that it's alright to get pregnant while in the service as long as you don't abuse it and become pregnant to intentionally for the sole purpose avoiding deployment. I've had friends raised on base and my niece has twin friends who both of their parents were in the service and they turned out okay they're bright and exceptionally smart [maybe even too smart for kindergarten seeing as their Dad wanted to pull them out and home school upon looking at the regular elementary school homework where it said "circle the square" and there were no squares only rectangles]. I think that being a military kid is actually a good experience, my friends who were raised in military family's have bright futures ahead of them and I don't think that's out of wealth.
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14 Jul 2010, 17:04
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I find the military a scary thing and I have no idea what possesses people to join it. If women want to get pregnant, why not. Our biological clocks tick a lot faster than men's, and your own happiness is more important than supporting a mass genocide in Afghanistan (yeah, I said it!)
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14 Jul 2010, 18:01
The Narnian Ninja
Post Count: 44
my best friend an her husband were both in the military.she had NO idea she was about to be deployed (it was deff a no warning thing)she wasn't planning on getting pregnant.she found out she was pregnant after she'd been in over there for less then a month.they sent her home,an took her husband in her place.
idk.sorry for loong post,but what im attempting to say is,i don't think you forfeit your right to have kids just because you're in the military.an even if women aren't planning on it happening,it does
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15 Jul 2010, 04:44
Kelsey Lynn xox
Post Count: 150
To be honest, I don't really think that active duty women should get pregnant. It's not fair to said future child that will grow up without a mother if she gets deployed. If you willingly sign up for the military, then you dedicate the time needed to that job. If that means giving up having a child while you are active duty, then so be it. But, with that said, there should be a way to give up your active status for a period if you really want to have children (idk much about the military, if there is a way to do this and such, so correct me if i'm wrong.) so that way there is no chance of you being called out on duty. A child can survive without both parents, but I'm guessing it is much harder without a mother than without a father.
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16 Jul 2010, 04:44
J♥me
Post Count: 38
When a woman in the military gets pregnant she is given the option to get out completely or serve as guard or reserve (part time). As a guard/reserve member, she would still be called on to deploy (infact, most guard/reserve units deploy more often than active duty), but she would only work one weekend a month, and two weeks a year. She'd have a lot more time with the baby, but would still be in the military and available to deploy at any time. I have a good friend who has chosen this. I don't necessarily agree with it, because the military has a lot of benefits that with this economy are very hard to come by (and are not always available for guard/reserve members).(Health care, good schools, GI bill that can now be given to children/spouses, etc.) If I were to get pregnant, I think I would stay active duty. I don't plan on becoming pregnant, and I know if I do I may change my mind, but this is my decision as of right now for the reasons listed above.

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