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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Where do you stand?
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19 May 2010, 20:53
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
The View were talking about a story that follows.

Guy and girl are dating. They both agree they do not want children but girl gets pregnant and girl and guy both decide to have an abortion. A few months later girl gets pregnant again breaks up with guy and even though at the time neither wanted to be parents girl decides to keep baby without telling the guy..has baby and then sues the guy for child support.

Elisabeth, Joy, and Sherrie say sucks for him, pay up.

Whoopie said she knew he didnt want to be a dad and if he truly stands by that he should be able to sign away his rights.

Elisabeth, Joy, and Sherrie stills say too bad so sad pay up.

So where do you stand? Whose side are on you on? And Why?
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19 May 2010, 21:00
Music God CJ Plain
Post Count: 550
I say...sucks for him as well. After the first time, he should have used protection or other precautions to prevent pregnancy. He could have also had a vasectomy to prevent such matters. Like the old saying..."You play, you pay"
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19 May 2010, 21:54
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
I dont think it should all be on him to prevent the pregnancy, nor do I think its okay for the woman to hide this. Personally I think men should have an "opt out" choice like women do. If a woman doesnt want a child regardless of if the father of that child wants it or not she can abort it, and move on with her life, however if a man doesnt want a child he has no choice in the matter but to pay child support or go to jail. I think that while yes, she wants to keep this child, I think he should be able to sign his rights over. He shouldnt be forced into fatherhood, just like women cannot be forced into motherhood if they dont want to be.
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19 May 2010, 22:10
Music God CJ Plain
Post Count: 550
In most states, the father CAN sign his rights away but it doesn't always diminish his responsibility for child support.

I'm NOT saying that what she did was right by hiding it though. It was deceitful and underhanded...but let's face it...Women can be that way. As a guy...you KNOW what can happen. If you don't want to take the chance...then keep it in your pants.
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19 May 2010, 22:15
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
My problem with this is its a complete double standard. The woman doesnt want the baby and she doesnt have to support it or deal with it, but the man doesnt want the baby and he needs to pay because he didnt keep it in his pants. I think that there needs to be more "fairness" (for lack of a better word) on both sides of the law, not just laws protecting the mother, or laws just protecting the father, in my opinion its a pretty sexist view to look at the man as being at fault, not saying you are but many do, and making him bear the brunt of the mothers choices.

As a woman you have more then one way to "protect" yourself. You can use birth control, if that fails, then you have more options, you can abort the child, or put it up for adoption, without so much as telling the father you are pregnant. If you are a man, you can give up having children for the rest of your life by getting fixed, or you can wear a condom, if the condom fails, guess what?? Sucks for you, cause you should know better then to put your penis inside of a woman.
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20 May 2010, 01:24
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Haha, MGoB rhyming up a storm today.
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19 May 2010, 23:35
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I agree.
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19 May 2010, 22:03
HorrorVixen XO
Post Count: 869
i totally agree with u.. ya know, its called learning from ur mistakes!! it takes two!!
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19 May 2010, 22:03
HorrorVixen XO
Post Count: 869
i was agreeing with music
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20 May 2010, 03:31
ObsidianDreamer
Post Count: 50
totally agree with you...
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19 May 2010, 23:34
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Of course he shouldn't have to pay if she kept it a secret from him AND they were broken up. He made his stance clear.
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19 May 2010, 23:43
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
yes, but how do you draw the line on when it's okay to sign over your rights and when it's not? for example, there are so many people that have unprotected sex, the woman gets pregnant, and the man walks away. when they haven't discussed beforehand whether or not they want children, should he still be able to sign them over?
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20 May 2010, 00:01
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
I think he should. Can the woman have an abortion whenever she wants? Yes, even when the father WANTS the child. Why shouldn't he be able to abort his parental rights as well?
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20 May 2010, 01:04
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
so all the deadbeat dads would just get a free pass?
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20 May 2010, 01:09
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
What happens to the worthless mothers who abort their baby? They get a free pass dont they?
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20 May 2010, 01:22
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
but that eliminates responsibility from everybody instead of shouldering one person with all of it.


(not that i'm condoning abortion bc i would NEVER do that.)
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20 May 2010, 01:27
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
But what about the man who WANTS the responsibility, who cannot get it because the mother doesnt want it? How is it at all different. The woman had her choices to abort or put the baby up for adoption or "keep her legs closed" the man should have more then "dont have sex" or "use a condom" we all know condoms fail. Its a double standard. The woman isnt being held responsible unless SHE wants to be, but the man has absolutely no choice in the matter once the condom failed.
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20 May 2010, 01:32
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
i agree that that is unfair. i think that if the father wants to keep the baby then he should be able to have him/her. and i think that's the whole situation is pretty messed up. but my original question was, how do you decide who can sign away their rights and who can't? who would judge it?
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20 May 2010, 01:33
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
that the whole**
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20 May 2010, 01:35
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
I think that the man should have the same restrictions on signing his rights away as women have on abortion. Some states say you can have an abortion until the baby is born, if thats the case the man should have that time frame to abort his parental rights. If the pregnancy is not disclosed to him during the time the woman is pregnant, he gets 30 days from time of notification after the birth of the child.
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20 May 2010, 01:36
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
so if the woman could only have a first trimester abortion, then that's all the time the man would have to wave his rights?
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20 May 2010, 01:38
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
Yes, and if he wasnt informed during the first trimester, he gets 30 days from the time she tells him she is pregnant/he has a child.
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20 May 2010, 01:39
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
that would probably work. that was my only issue.
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20 May 2010, 01:51
*Forever Changing*
Post Count: 847
I dont see it EVER happening though, because even though women fight for their equality, they dont think they should ever have to take responsibility for their actions. Men however, have no choice in the matter once the condom fails, he is stuck.
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20 May 2010, 01:52
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
everyone is all for 'equality' but what they really mean is, 'i want what he has'.
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