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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
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What would you do?
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16 Feb 2010, 18:16
Meghans Follie
Post Count: 433
If your life long best friend's husband is cheating on her and you have proof and she is clueless? She's already had one husband who we swear was the devil's twin. We all really thought this guy was prince charming... But turns out he's only better then the 1st husband because he's never laid a hand on her. He's even gone as far as to try to make moves on her closest friends....
Would you tell her and risk her wrath and hope she beleives you, or wait for her to find out on her own?
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16 Feb 2010, 19:10
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
I would tell her, because if I didn't, and she found out that I knew and said nothing... I might as well be guilty of sending him naked pictures. That's how my friends and I are, though. I would want to know. If my best friend came to me and said "Steph, Bill's been doing this, and here's the proof." - I would listen to my best friends. They'd never try to hurt me or lie to me, and would only give me the truth.

Especially if you have been one of the ones he has asked for naked pictures of, I would see it was your "duty" as her best friend to tell her. Take her out for coffee, lunch, dinner, whatever and just tell her what's going on.
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16 Feb 2010, 19:52
Meghans Follie
Post Count: 433
i think it would be easier if we weren't on opp sides of the world at this point. I've been thinking of asking any of the other friends that have been asked the same thing by her husband if they saved the texts. I assumed he was drunk off his ass and deleted/ignored it. Then last week someone else told me he asked them the same thing recently.
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16 Feb 2010, 21:30
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
I wouldn't tell - my mom always told me never tell cuz if they make up who do u think they will be mad at? The person who told so for ME personally I think id plant the eviendence without a trace WHO left it

What proof do u have?
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16 Feb 2010, 22:23
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
Either way, she's going to be mad. If it was your friend, would you rather her be mad at you for telling her the truth, or from keeping it from her?

Look at it this way:
If she's mad at you for telling her the truth, then she's mad at being betrayed by HIM.
If she's mad at you for keeping it from her, then she'll be mad at being betrayed by YOU.

Frankly, I'd rather have her hate me forever and be mad at me for telling her the truth rather than her being mad at being BETRAYED by me. Even if they make up, at least she would know that HE is the betrayer, not me.
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16 Feb 2010, 22:38
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
well it would be a sticky situation but there r some girls I'm not sure if id believe if he cheated on me with someone else

Id personally rather 2 see proof cuz I have friends that would lie period
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16 Feb 2010, 23:26
Lauren.
Post Count: 885
I would tell. Only because I know that if I was in that situation, I would want someone to tell me, ya know?
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17 Feb 2010, 05:59
Rhapsody
Post Count: 53
Like Josh would ever cheat on you Lauren. lol.
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18 Feb 2010, 11:03
Jessica [Private]
Post Count: 1751
And God help him if he ever does. :|
He'd have a mob of angry women chasing him down the street with large, swingable objects. ;)
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18 Feb 2010, 11:00
Jessica [Private]
Post Count: 1751
Yup yup.

She's between a rock and a hard place either way.
If she finds out he's scum and her friend didn't tell her, of course she's gonna be pissed.


I'd personally risk it. If she's mad at you right now, I'd be happy I at least listened to my conscience and told her. She'll realize for herself that he's scum and be grateful.
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17 Feb 2010, 00:18
raen
Post Count: 79
I would tell her straight up. It's what I would expect my friends to do for me. Even if it hurts, she needs to know what's happening. Truth hurts, but as a friend, it's your job to make sure she isn't continually being played. What she does with that information is entirely up to her, but she should know.
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18 Feb 2010, 00:24
lithium layouts.
Post Count: 836
Give the husband a deadline. Basically, 'If you don't tell her, I will.'
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19 Feb 2010, 01:17
Lauren.
Post Count: 885
YES. Good idea.
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18 Feb 2010, 14:57
Makayla
Post Count: 751
Actually I've been in this situation before except my aunt's husband tried to make the moves on me. Not to mention I was 7 months pregnant at the time! I was helping her at her florist shop over Valentine's Day weekend & we went to deliver some flowers & he tried to touch my boobs. I didn't say anything to her. I went off on him though.

I think it really depends on the person. I knew if I told my aunt she would get jealous and blame me for it. Maybe think I lead him on in some way. Eventually, she found out for herself what kind of guy he was & they are divorced now. But I've never told her what he did because I know it would just cause more harm than good.

If she is the jealous type, ya know the one who can turn things around to make guys look innocent & never make them own up to their actions (usually that type is the kind that let men walk all over them and are very insecure), then I would tell you to let her find out for herself. But if she isn't that type of person then I think it would be okay to break the news to her. But there is always a chance she might not believe you & think you are just trying to break up something good.

So all in all it's a really hard question to answer because I don't know the type of person your friend is. There are some of my friends that I can tell them anything & they will trust my word. But then there are some who I know telling them would do more harm than good and eventually break up our friendship.
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19 Feb 2010, 06:16
lithium layouts.
Post Count: 836
It does depend on the person. And it also depends on your relationship with that person. This may not directly apply to you (since I don't know the type of relationship you and your aunt have), but I think that a friend-friend relationship would be different to an aunt-niece relationship. If it happened between me and a friend of mine's boyfriend, I would, depending on the friend, probably tell her, because between friends it is an equal playing field, a sort of mutual respect. But if it happened between me and my aunt... well I probably wouldn't tell her, because that would be traversing a generational/respect gap. I would probably tell my mum (her sister) instead. xD
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19 Feb 2010, 06:17
lithium layouts.
Post Count: 836
aunt's husband*, not 'aunt'. xD
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19 Feb 2010, 15:51
Makayla
Post Count: 751
My aunt is younger than my husband though. lol ;D We were more like friends than the traditional aunt/neice relationship. She was only like 24 when it happened & I was 17. Her husband was like 25.
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19 Feb 2010, 21:52
lithium layouts.
Post Count: 836
Ahhh okay. xD I was right not to assume anything!
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19 Feb 2010, 21:52
lithium layouts.
Post Count: 836
That, and my aunt is like 30 years older than me. xD
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21 Feb 2010, 01:58
Makayla
Post Count: 751
Yea that's okay. I guess most people were assuming there was a generation gap there as well. Not many people have aunts & uncles that close in age to them. My dad is the oldest of 6 so there's a pretty big age gap with them.
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21 Feb 2010, 01:59
Makayla
Post Count: 751
Oh & I totally agree with you though. If it were an older man like in his late 30s or 40s I would have felt better telling my mom or my grandmother because that would have been kind of creepy & pedo...YUCK!
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20 Feb 2010, 09:13
Poetic Justice
Post Count: 229
I would tell her, because I would want her to tell me if it were happening to me. I would also tell her because looking out for a friend's best interest is what real friends do. She might get mad at first, she might even take it out on you, but in the end, she's mad at HIM, not you. She'll realize it eventually, and if you're still up for being a good friend when she does, you wont hold it against her.
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16 Feb 2010, 18:40
-kay
Post Count: 268
I would expect honesty from my friends above everything else--my hurt feelings, my anger--so I am the same with them. Especially with my life-long best friend. If he knew something and did not tell me, and I found out, I think that would hurt me more than the actual cheating my significant other did.
How did you find out, if you don't mind my asking?
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16 Feb 2010, 18:47
Meghans Follie
Post Count: 433
I was one of the ones he asked for naked pictures and hit on
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16 Feb 2010, 21:00
foreverglow
Post Count: 217
He's not the brightest tool in the shed now is he? Why would he say that to his WIFE's best FRIEND? Is he asking for trouble? What a sleezeball.

I'd tell her. If she chooses to not believe you, and to be with him, well that's her choice. Can't say you didn't warn her. And she deserves to know!
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