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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Sex. How many is too many?
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20 Jul 2009, 23:53
Mistress Sarah
Post Count: 45
There's no such thing as a number. Being a slut comes down the self control frankly. I wouldn't consider someone who had slept with a lot of people, but had respect for the situation and control over it a slut. Someone who goes and sleeps with another persons partner and has no respect for what they are doing, for example, is a slut. And the person who cheats on their partner, frankly, is a slut.
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17 Jul 2009, 18:37
Transit
Post Count: 1096
It depends, the persons age, time between partners, how long they are together until they have sex. You can be a slut without having sex. Then people have different views on sex, some people think shagging who you want whenever you want is all hunky dorry, where as I don't.

Like someone can have had four sexual partners and not be a slag, where as someone else can have two and be a slag, people can have on sexual partner and be a slag.

My friend has had sex with over 30 men, mega slag!
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17 Jul 2009, 18:41
.love.struck.
Post Count: 492
I think it depends on how many a person sleeps with in a week and month. Say they had one night stands 3 times a week, every week, that to me is slutty. 3 people a week turns into a month 12 people, yep sounds pretty slutty to me. There are so many diseases out there and the possibility of pregnancy. I think people need to be more careful nowadays.
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17 Jul 2009, 19:01
Poetic Justice
Post Count: 229
I don't think it has to do with a number at all, but rather how open you are about it. For instance, if you meet someone (male or female) who does not disclose anything about their sexual history, you obviously would have no reason to think of them as a slut/whore/whatever. But as soon as they start talking about the things they've done, and who they've done them with, your opinion of them might change, even if you've known them for a long time. Personally, I don't see the need to disclose said information to anyone, anyway. It's no one's business but your own, and the person you are with (for the sake of their own health). There's really no need to go over it with friends, or especially total strangers, unless you're looking to be judged.
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17 Jul 2009, 19:02
~*Jodi*~
Post Count: 162
It's really not that hard to rack up partners as you get older, especially through your 20s. If you start having sex at 15 and let's say you do 3 people a year, then at 30 you're going to have 45 on your list. So, its really not that hard, and it's not the number that makes you a slut, it's the actions that make you a slut - like if you're 15 and giving blow jobs to every guy in school in the bathrooms, then yeah, that's a slut. Of course, someone wouldn't be doing that if she didn't already have some sort of problems internally like low self-esteem or an abusive childhood or something that makes her think SEX = LOVE. It does not equal love.

Everyone has physical needs though and people like having sex, so in this day and age, it's abnormal (though admirable) to only have one or two partners. Some people view sex as a very intimate and special thing and some people see it more casually. There IS a point when it's TOO casual, though.
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17 Jul 2009, 21:27
Estella
Post Count: 1779
GOSH, IS THREE PEOPLE PER YEAR THE AVERAGE, YO?
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21 Jul 2009, 08:05
simply.love
Post Count: 5
Three a year seems okay to me, for a single girl.
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21 Jul 2009, 11:54
Estella
Post Count: 1779
FOR YOU, MAYBE - BUT WOULD YOU SAY IT'S THE AVERAGE? DO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES HAVE ROUGHLY 3 DIFFERENT SEXUAL PARTNERS PER YEAR? AND IS THAT ONE PARTNER EVERY FOUR MONTHS, WHERE THEY ARE EACH A FOUR-MONTH-LONG BOIF, OR THREE RANDOMLY-OCCURRING ONE-NIGHT-STANDS?

ENQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW, YO! THIS IS QUITE FASCINATING!
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21 Jul 2009, 13:18
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
I don't think it's average. I don't think any of my good friends have had three partners in the past year, and I certainly haven't!
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21 Jul 2009, 16:40
~*Jodi*~
Post Count: 162
If someone is single then 3 a year is probably even on the low side of average. I was in a 7-year relationship, though, so there were 7 years that I didn't have sex with anyone but him; then there have been years when I slept with many more people than I'd care to admit. lol. But I've been having sex for 15 years, personally.

It's actually not quite uncommon for single people (not in a relationship, or even people in short-term relationships that only last a few months which you cannot predict going into the relationship) to have 3 or more people a year.

It's especially not uncommon for someone who is pretty and is asked out a lot. Some people simply have more people to choose from to sleep with. Some people go years and never even get asked out on a date, so you'd expect their numbers to be low.
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21 Jul 2009, 18:57
Estella
Post Count: 1779
Gosh, is that the case in America, that pretty girls sleep around more? I find in the UK it tends to be the opposite. The pretty girls tend to be pickier, because they can be, whereas the girlies who are always sleeping around are often mingers, who somehow have to prove their desirability by having lots of sex.
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21 Jul 2009, 19:00
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
Have you ever seen American talk shows? It isn't the pretty ones that spread their legs more, but I'm thinking oftentimes the pretty ones do fall between picky and needing to feel fulfilled by having sexual partners to reinforce their beauty. Silly notion, but to each their potentially damaging own.
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21 Jul 2009, 19:07
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Agreed, guys know by lowering their standards a little bit they are more likely to get lucky as well.
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21 Jul 2009, 19:13
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
Lol. I totally agree. I don't buy the 'pretty girls have more sexual partners' argument. I know some damn ugly girls who have had A LOT of sexual partners. In fact I'd say ugly girls tend to sleep around more, perhaps because they're insecure and if a guy shows them some attention they find it flattering and it helps them to feel attractive. I've met quite a few girls like that.

On the other hand, pretty girls can afford to be more picky and rather than sleep with anyone who is willing to sleep with them, they can choose to just sleep with the guys they really want to sleep with. They're less likely to need guys to lust after them to feel attractive in their own skin. I know plenty of pretty girls who sleep with less than 3 guys a year. They just have standards.
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21 Jul 2009, 19:17
Transit
Post Count: 1096
I went for over two years without sex, a lot of my friends had the opinion that I should just shag everything as my standards will drop so low I'll shag a minger, or I could just not be desperate and wait for someone nice, an alien concept to them.
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21 Jul 2009, 19:25
~*Jodi*~
Post Count: 162
No, pretty girls do not 'necessarily' sleep around more. They are asked out more, though, and 'hit on' more. It's actually the less attractive girls who would tend to probably sleep around more, but that's not always the case because some girls don't ever get asked out. I know several girls who never get hit on and never get asked out and never get complimented. I probably get 'hit on' or asked for sex on a daily basis and asked out on a 'date' at least once every couple of days, and that's even if I have a boyfriend. I've been at Wendy's (fast-food) getting food before - and on TWO different occasions at that one Wendy's - had 2 different guys ask for my number before they'd give me my food. I refused, of course. I'm just saying that looks are sort of relative to how many offers that you do have. That's not always the 'rule' though. There are always exceptions to everything.
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21 Jul 2009, 19:30
Transit
Post Count: 1096
British men aren't all, can I have your number/want to come on a date most of the time. Normally its, fancy a shag until they find someone that says yes or slip of rohypnol!
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21 Jul 2009, 19:53
Estella
Post Count: 1779
GOSH, YES, LIKE TRANSIT SAID, BRITISH MEN TOTALLY DON'T TEND TO ASK GIRLIES FOR THEIR NUMBER OUT OF THE BLUE. I FOUND IN CANADA THAT GUYS WERE MUCH MORE FORWARD IN COMING ON TO GIRLS THAN IN THE UK, SO I'M GUESSING THAT AMERICAN GUYS ARE ALSO MORE FORWARD. IN THE UK, THE GUY OFTEN TENDS TO NEED TO HAVE HAD A BIT TO DRINK BEFORE HE DARES ASK OUT A GIRL. IT'S ALSO VERY MUCH TO DO WITH HOW FLIRTATIOUS THE GIRL IS. I NOTICE IN SOCIAL SETTINGS THAT GIRLS WHO ARE VERY FLIRTATIOUS AND CHATTY GET HIT ON MORE THAN THE QUIET, NON-FLIRTY GIRLS, EVEN WHEN THE QUIET GIRLS ARE PRETTIER. AND SMILING MAKES A DIFFERENCE TOO - IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HIT ON, NOT SMILING CAN BE A GOOD IDEA. HAHA - I DISLIKE BEING HIT ON SO I ALWAYS TRY TO FIND WAYS TO AVOID IT. LUCKILY, BEING ASEXUAL, I DON'T EMIT ANY SEXUAL OR FLIRTATIOUS VIBES, SO THAT REDUCES IT, BUT ALAS, BEING FRIENDLY AND SMILING CAN STILL MAKE MEN SOMETIMES TAKE AN INTEREST.
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22 Jul 2009, 10:49
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
Yes, British men never go up to random girls and ask them out. Just doesn't happen here. Unless they're drunk and in a bar/club.

Still, I don't think being constantly hit on means a girl will necessarily have lots of sex. I quite often get hit on in bars and clubs by random guys but I'd probably never sleep with any of them. Because I just don't sleep with random guys. And I think the same goes for a lot of girls. How pretty you are, or how often you get hit on doesn't matter. One girl could get hit on by 5 guys in 6 months, and sleep with them all (especially if she's insecure and has low self esteem), while another girl could get hit on by 50 guys in the same period, and choose to sleep with none of them, because she CHOOSES not to.

It does also depend how you dress and present yourself I think. Some girls do have a look which screams "I want sex!". And some girls are definitely more flirtatious than others. Personally I can flirt for Britain if I fancy a guy, but I generally won't bother if I don't have any interest in him.
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22 Jul 2009, 12:33
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I am terribly flirty whether I like a guy or not. It passes the time ;D
But I'm not the type to go sleep with whoever shows me interest. I am terribly picky!
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22 Jul 2009, 17:49
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
Picky is good!
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22 Jul 2009, 12:39
Estella
Post Count: 1779
YES, YO - IT ALSO DEPENDS WHETHER YOU FREQUENT BARS AND CLUBS, YO. WHEN I HAVE FREQUENTED SUCH PLACES, THERE ARE ALWAYS GUYS THAT HIT ON ME. WHEN I STAY AT HOME, NO GUYS SEE ME, SO I DON'T GET HIT ON - SO STAYING AT HOME IS A VERY GOOD PLAN! ;D

RANDOMLY, I NOTICE THAT I GET HIT ON MORE WHEN I AM WEARING RED. SO THERE MUST BE SOMETHING IN THAT OLD IDEA THAT RED IS A BIT OF A RACY COLOUR.
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22 Jul 2009, 12:57
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Haha yeah, I get hit on a lot when I'm out, its cringe worthy! No beer goggles here though.
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22 Jul 2009, 17:51
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
Haha. True. I often wear red when I go on nights out.
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17 Jul 2009, 21:45
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
But gosh, 3 people a year? And having sex at 15?!

If you're sleeping with 3 people a year, then you're not in any deep and meaningful relationships are you? And, call me old fashioned, but sex is a million times better when you're with someone you love.

I had a one night stand once. It was such a mistake that I didn't have sex again for 2 years. I went off all men. I just worry that experiences like that happen to girls more often than they let on.
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