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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
spanking?
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 16:17
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
I'm not trying to make myself look creditable,lol

you dont apply commonsense to your ego filled debates

100 years worth of studies by real professionals proved you wrong, and you dont like that fact

so you make up total bullshit, in your childish stubbron ways bec your parents failed, and raised a little stubborn prick, a blind prick to the facts.

you want to hurt children, bec you already plan to run out of options. maybe.. pa-lease.

i feel sorry for you, and seriously hope you do not have kids


yes I can see clearly the other side, a small smacks here and there are thought not to cause any harm by so many, and one would think that's true. it's just a little smack, doesnt even hurt as much as falling down,.

to bad that is wrong. and is in no way true.


children look to parents for love, SAFTETY, understanding.

there's nothing a child could possibly do that would require me to hit them

please come back when you realize how wrong you are, and apologize for being a stubborn bitch

yes, i reply to people lies they make up. big deal

is that some new debating rule, when one person leaves you two comments, but at teh end say I;'m done with this conversation, they cant reply? LMAO

take a hike lady

your lack of commonsense is pretty ridiculous. but not have has ridiculous as your stubborness!



"When I do have children I will adapt my discipline techniques as appropriate to that individual child. I will try and avoid smacking at all costs, but if other methods do not work, I may smack very occassionally. I do not know yet. I wouldn't plan something like that so far in advance, because I cannot predict what sort of children I will have or how responsive they will be to different techniques of discipline"


Just take spanking out as any sort of last resort of your failure to teach without violence.

smacking only teaches that mommy is a hypocrite.
the long term effects are not worth it

and a loo at 100 years worth of studies proves that spanking cause children to be more aggressive.

you just dont know that there is no difference in how hard the smack is. a smack is a smack, and it;s wrong.

It's not okay to hit adults when "teaching" them.

and it's not okay to hit children when "teaching" them

you fail


0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 16:27
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Redfrag hasn't made anything up or lied at all. I read the study you supplied, which dealt with children who have been hit so harshly and constantly, not even for misbehavior that they suffered ABH, not what a smack is supposed to be(I don't agree with smacking children, it didn't harm but, but didn't work for me either). If you are going to use that study you might as well use any study on severe parental abuse.

I personally don't see how you can call someone childish when you post studies, which aren't actually about a smack being used as punishment and find your own experiences as a child a credible source for the effects of smacking, but you aren't willing to take into account the experiences of others when they differ from your own.

I think you need to take some of your own advice, in stop being so stubborn, egotistical and and bitch. Looking in from my own perspective in a lot of your posts, the negative things you write often describe yourself, or at least, how you portray yourself on here. Personally, if all my own experiences and views were ignored, and then words were put into my mouth and false claims of lies were put about, I wouldn't bother replying to that person either.
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 16:40
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
hitting is hitting and it is wrong

I do not care if it was a light smack. it;s the same thing

the rick that your child may be one of the thousands that it dos cause psychological problems, is NOT worth it! period. it's not worth it. we are talking about hitting children,. what the hell is wrong with you???????

I fully understand that millions are smacked and are perfectly fine. there is no way to tell in advanced if your child will have issues, like a short temper, contestant lying bec smacking makes a child lie to do the fear of being hit,, etc etc you do not have a crystal ball, you do not know if your child will be one of the many that it cause real problems for. based on that alone, it is not worth it.


i really dont care about your personal opinions of me. YAWN


saying you don't plan to smack your children, followed by you might smack them, that you just dont know yet. is the same as saying you plan to smack your children. that how I see it. I dont care if you dont see it that way. i do. and i dont care if anyone else does. although we all had a could laugh over here when I should them the comment she left. i do not plan to smack my future kids, but i might have to LMAO


you just want to argue bec you like to, everyone knows this, it;s all you do. which is fine. it;s all i do to, pretty much, so bring it on!

0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 16:48
Transit
Post Count: 1096
I don't think it is the same as saying I will hit my children, I don't plan on bottle feeding my children, but I accept, under very extreme circumstances, it is something I might have to consider, but is something I would want to avoid, always. I see smacking as the same thing, as long as it is a very light tap, less than a poke.

I don't understand this sentence, Although, we all had a could laugh over here when I should them the comment she left. Is that supposed to be, we all have a good laugh when I showed them? If so, that makes a lot more sense.

Right now I'm off to meet my brothers parrot....so I wont reply until later, hopefully I'll still have all my fingers!
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 17:09
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
yeah, i seem to be making a ton of typos lately i really need to start proof reading, or at least learn how to type without looking lol

yes, my g/f and i had a good laugh at the; i dont plan to smack my kids, but might have to.

lol


it's just not worth the risk, knowing that your kid may be that one kid that it actual does cause future problems for.

i personally see all types of smacking as unnecessary, no matter how light.

I have many kids on my hands, all the time. constantly. all different ages. it's not easy.

when i was younger i did occasionally smack. just a light quick swat on the butt, bec one of the boys liked hitting the girls.

well, i read a lot. and i realized i was wrong. I was actually teaching that hitting is okay, and is sometimes necessary.

0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 20:19
Transit
Post Count: 1096
I do agree with you, I just prefer a gentler method of stating it, thats why it seems so different I guess. Thought I should tell you, still got my fingers!
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 22:38
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
I agree.... my methods kind of have the opposite effect.

I'm very passionate. and probably shouldn't type out my emotional response as I experience them.

I just think by censoring myself, it would be fair, to me, or you. so this is a win win,lol
0 likes [|reply]
22 Jun 2009, 08:27
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Woah woah woah, you agree! Bloody hell! I'm shocked :)
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 20:28
Chris
Post Count: 1938
I've never heard of smacking as punishment giving children long-term emotional and psychological effects. Abuse and punishment are not the same thing. Most parents use light smacking as an extreme, and it stops the child from doing whatever it is that he or she was not supposed to do.

If something hurts, are you going to keep doing it? If you lay your hand on a hot stove, and give yourself 3rd degree burns, are you going to do it again? This logic applies to a child who would be upset that you spanked them now but understand why you did it years down the road - same thing with me. I understand why I was spanked as a child, but any problems with my personality that I have now (I don't think I have any) would stem from my mother and father's divorce.
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 20:29
Chris
Post Count: 1938
P.S. This reply was supposed to go under Tommy's 12:29 post.
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 22:25
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
Just because you never heard of something. Doesn't mean it cant be true.

Studies show that spanking causes children to be more aggressive. a look at 100 years worth of studies show this. http://www.attachmentparenting.org/pdfs/Physical_Punishment_US.pdf

You dont have to spank.

If you can't teach a child without hitting them. You're not a very good teacher.

The logic you should be using is that it is illegal for an adult to put their hands on another adult, even if they were only trying to teach them a lesson. Children deserve to have these same rights as adults. In fact I say under the constitution/bill of rights they actually do have this right under the eighth amendment. Which applies to anyone born here ie no age limit. ;)
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 22:38
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Studies show that spanking causes children to be more aggressive. a look at 100 years worth of studies show this. http://www.attachmentparenting.org/pdfs/Physical_Punishment_US.pdf

That doesn't mean children who get spanked as a punishment end up with psychological and emotional problems as adults. Children become more aggressive with their upbringing, and if they don't truly know why they've been punished. If a child touches a fancy vase and you give them a spanking, they don't know why they're not allowed to touch it, except that if they do, they get a spanking. Things have to be explained to children, in detail.

If you can't teach a child without hitting them. You're not a very good teacher.

So if we don't follow your method of teaching or parenting, we're bad parents?

The logic you should be using is that it is illegal for an adult to put their hands on another adult, even if they were only trying to teach them a lesson. Children deserve to have these same rights as adults. In fact I say under the constitution/bill of rights they actually do have this right under the eighth amendment. Which applies to anyone born here ie no age limit.

Alright, I've stopped taking your argument seriously. A spanking is not cruel and unusual punishment.
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 22:47
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
The emotional distress part should also be in that same study, if I remember correctly.
If your claim is that spanking could not cause any child any type of problems in teh future, none whatsoever. If that's your claim. You;re wrong. and you know it. because that is not your claim. And what I am saying, the risk of your child being the one of many that do end up with psychological problems, the risk is not worth it. when hitting a child is so unnecessary, why would anyone want to risk it. Because they are naive to the facts.


If you can tech without hitting, get another job. Its unnecessary and not worth the risk. it teaches nothing. It teaches mommy is a hypocrite.

Spanking is cruel and unusual punishment for an adult. Children have this same right, seriously!
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 22:49
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
If you can't teach* without hitting,lol
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 22:56
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Your argument presented implies that a majority of people that were spanked as children grew up to be emotionally disturbed, and that is simply not the case. First and foremost, learn the difference between spanking and abuse. Then try to find statistics that reveal that a majority of people spanked as a child grew up to have psychological and emotional issues (preferably not in .pdf, because I'm not willing to download and install a reader).

If you can tech without hitting, get another job. Its unnecessary and not worth the risk. it teaches nothing. It teaches mommy is a hypocrite.

It has nothing to do with having a job. Spanking has proven effective in child discipline as well as other methods of teaching.

Spanking is cruel and unusual punishment for an adult. Children have this same right, seriously!

Here's a fun list for you.

1. I'd rather get a spanking than a taser to the back.
2. I'd rather get a spanking than spend a week in Guantanamo Bay.
3. I'd rather get a spanking than get waterboarded.
4. I'd rather get a spanking than be tortured as a war prisoner.

Don't compare spanking with real cruel and unusual punishment.
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 23:24
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
My apologies, I was under the impression that when I say "why take a chance on your child being that one, that does end up having psychological problems, like the thousands that do" it really doesnt imply that the mjority, out of 6 billion people, is in the thousands, and not the billions. Is a small minority, but why take the chance. when it is unnecessary.


Spanking is a very effective attention getter, but is not the lesson it's self. Knowing what is right or wrong according to the teachers opinion, is the lesson. and that lesson doesnt require hitting a child.
Parenting is a job. Baby sitting is a job. day care, school, etc etc anyone teaching a child, has a type of job, and it does take lots of time, patients, understanding.
You wouldn't go to a brain surgeon that is just trying to be one for teh first time on you. and as many, or some bloopers feel, that parents should be require to take a parenting class before having kids. I personally dont go to that extreme. I believe in educating people, there are better ways, and the better ways are more effective. and you dont have the risk involved of the emotional detachment.
Do you know that some anti-spanking people even say it's wrong to swat a child when they are born. If you listen to them, agree or not doesnt even matter, but what they claim is very interesting. look into it, if you want.


Every hear of caning? That's spanking for Adults. We here in the US consider it to be cruel and unusual punishment. children have this same right.


when the study first came out. I learnt about it from foxnews online,lol
I really had some trouble tracking down the full report.
which i was able to do.
I just dont want to do that again in some other format, sorry.
The one in chargeof the report is: Elizabeth Gershoff
Google: Elizabeth Gershoff 100 years of studies
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 23:36
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Spanking is a very effective attention getter, but is not the lesson it's self.

That's my whole point. There's honestly nothing more I can add to that.

Do you know that some anti-spanking people even say it's wrong to swat a child when they are born.

Even so, a newborn baby has the memory of an earthworm, and anyone who says they remember being a newborn is flat out lying or looking for attention, OR has a deformity or mutation in their brain.
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 23:42
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
water birthing is beautiful

i really like it when babies are born into this wold, and into arms of love.....

vs some clanky metal hospital whereas some stranger smacks you on the ass, as you take your first breath into the world where violence is sometime acceptable. and thought to be necessary at times. oh what a wonderful world
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21 Jun 2009, 23:54
Chris
Post Count: 1938
I agree.
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 22:42
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Also, do you have a version of that document that's not in .pdf? I don't want to install the reader, but I trust what you're saying is on there is actually on there. Either way, non-.pdf?
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21 Jun 2009, 21:10
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
I personally don't see what is so funny about someone choosing not to plan their methods of discipline when they're a long way off of having children. I think that's perfectly sensible. But then I guess some people have a pretty simple sense of humour.
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21 Jun 2009, 21:12
Transit
Post Count: 1096
I love simpletons, they make me feel at home!
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 21:13
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
Lol. ;D
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 16:29
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
You have to admit that smacking may cause long term psychological problems for SOME children. you know that is true. right?

so please do not take that chance on your future kids, you do not know if your kid will be one of the thousands that have psychological problems from being smacked. it;s just not worth the risk. do you get that?

probably not

if you run out of options. and what on earth could child possibly do to make a controlling parent hit them. NOTHING

but if in the future you go so angry, and so controlling, and want to lash out bec things aren't going the way you say that must.
YOU take the time out, not teh child. and in your time out calla professional for some better ideas, and do not resort to violence. children are the future. you like having wars? start teaching that violence is NOT okay, no matter how light of violence it is, it's not okay

the whole world smacks there kids, and what a waring world this is!

time for change sweetheart rise above!
0 likes [|reply]
21 Jun 2009, 12:41
Transit
Post Count: 1096
I never once cried when I was smacked, I used to just laugh at my mum instead.
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